Sane and Suffering

Hmm, I don’t know fuck what to say, all I’ve been doing is talking and praying, but pain and suffering is what I’ve been craving, so lame and ashamed, thinking life be would better one day, the lie that keeps us awake, but will soon drive us insane, that’s all I’ve fucking been saying, I’ve worked my ass off, from morning to the light falls, the sun so bright y’all, it’s blinding my eyes as I drive to my Tylenol, beating my brains, playing these games, spending most of my damn life away, kneeling to pray, needing to say, bleeding my veins, fuck,

I’m so sorry, didn’t mean to waste your time, I’m crawling, away from my fears inside, no stalling, seeing the reaper due time, but I flew by, he never wanted my number so I blocked his ass, mowing the lawn as I burn this grass, dragging my problems till they learn to laugh, doesn’t this seem fun now let’s learn the math, counting my days till the day I die, hoping and praying that I’ll be fine, what am I saying, I know I’ll never be fine, so let’s move on, dealing with life like flying a kite, love was here, until she disappeared, catching a cold, my nose is runny just like my tears, my head is so empty, falling so slow is what I fear, isn’t that clear? Maybe one day you’ll understand and drink a beer, shit calm your hands, stop shaking, we about to land, stop saying, you’re gonna live again, it’s been raining, I wonder if I’m dead, but instead, we are gonna read, till our brain gives up and wants to leave, till the fame blows up then we are showing to need, more money for the greed, god I can’t breathe, god I can’t see, demons let me be, working around the clock, checking my phone to see if the stocks went up, violently throwing the glock, I ran out of ammo so I threw the mop, what a shot, what a thought, billing my homies like I own their crops, this hits harder than my violent crimes, back home, killing sweet time, holding my nine, didn’t you read the lines? Shaking my head too forget, waking up too find myself in bed, reading my friends text, I’m dead, stop to hear the bells of dread, so let’s think about how I came to be, walking through the darkness to find almighty he, I never had a light to guide my soul and me, do you think I was blind? My darkness was internally, I assumed you would know my pain, I assumed you’d push me away, thinking I would drag you down to play, but I’m dragging every motherfucker who thought my life was a waste, before I leave, I just want you to know me, as I plead, thinking one day I’ll be on my knees, crying and throwing, screaming each word, gripping onto life like I’m trapped in a herd, shooting up like I’m in a fucking purge, hear the sirens? Now my death is fucking deserved, that’s absurd! What’s absurd? Death comes to us sooner or later, everyone dies so don’t be a hater, but only a select few will make it through the gates, some will fall and fucking dissipate, so before you die you hope you’ll get to pray, but death cuts you off before you can say,