Socks On Psycho

Intro – Male]

Hold up…

You really sleep with socks on?

Oh my God, here we go.

⸻

I saw those fuzzy ankle covers in the middle of the night,

Had to double-check my vision, had to turn on every light,

You looked me in my soul like this was totally okay,

Girl, sleeping with socks on should be illegal anyway.

You got six alarms, never wake up on the first,

Drink weird gas station smoothies saying “honestly they’re fire,”

But THIS right here’s the reason I can’t trust your vibe—

Who sleeps with covered feet and thrives?

⸻

Boy, please. You sleep like a haunted possum,

Steal all the blankets then act like it’s awesome,

You fart, blame the dog, then go right back to bed,

But my socks are the problem living in your head?

At least my feet are warm and comfy every night,

While your dry heels spark against the sheets at night,

You made a whole conspiracy from cotton and thread,

Please just shut up and rest your head.

⸻

Male: It’s unnatural!

Female: Boy yes it is!

Male: That’s serial killer behavior, admit!

Female: You’re dramatic!

Male: I’m speaking facts!

Both: How’d bedtime turn into an attack?!

⸻

She fell asleep with her socks on, socks on,

I’m laying there like “girl what’s wrong?”

She said “mind your business, let me sleep,”

I said “this secret cuts too deep!”

Now we arguing at 3 A.M.,

Over fuzzy little ankle hems,

But through the roasting and the fight,

We still kiss goodnight.

⸻

I tried pulling one off, she kicked me in the ribs,

Said “touch my sleepy socks again and you ain’t welcome here,”

I started Googling “warning signs” while staring at the fan,

Then she stole my pillow with her tiny evil hands.

⸻

Meanwhile this man wears outside clothes in bed,

Eats crackers under blankets leaving crumbs instead,

You snore like a lawnmower fighting for its life,

But MY socks are ruining the night?

You rage bait me daily just to hear me yell,

Then laugh when I threaten to send you straight to hell,

You poke the bear then act shocked every time,

Like chaos isn’t your favorite pastime.

⸻

Male: Free the feet!

Female: Keep ‘em warm!

Male: This ain’t normal!

Female: You’re the problem!

Male: Your toes need air!

Female: Your breath needs prayer!

Both: Why are we like this? Nobody cares!

⸻

Yeah she fell asleep with her socks on, socks on,

And I kept clowning till the break of dawn,

She threw a pillow at my stupid face,

Then stole my hoodie and my side of space.

Now we laughing while the night rolls by,

Fake mad tears in both our eyes,

‘Cause every couple’s got that weird little fight…

And ours is socks at night.

⸻

I’m wearing two pairs tonight.

You’re actually evil.