Worm & Beetle Bullshit Blues

Yo—

This one goes out to every nasty little critter

Crawlin’ through the dirt talkin’ big shit

Worm gang. Beetle gang.

Everybody funky as hell.

There’s a pissed-off worm named Jimmy McSlime

Long pink bastard always drunk half the time

Lived underground in a moldy-ass ditch

Talked mad shit to every bug and bitch

Said, “I ain’t got legs but I still move fast

Y’all built like raisins with a crunchy ass”

A beetle rolled up like, “Boy, shut the fuck up”

Big shiny shell lookin’ dumb as a truck

Worm said, “Damn, boy, why you built like a boot?”

Beetle said, “At least I ain’t a spaghetti noodle in the dirt root”

Then they both got heated near a dead raccoon

Throwin’ acorns like it’s high noon

Worm and beetle fightin’ in the mud all night

Cussin’ every second while they bite and fight

“Fuck you!” “No, FUCK YOU MORE!”

Rollin’ downhill straight through a grocery store

Tiny-ass demons in the backyard grass

One got slime, one got a hard-ass ass

Nature documentary gone straight to hell

Worm and beetle yellin’, “SUCK MY SHELL!”

Beetle got drunk off fermented fruit

Started moonwalkin’ in a Timberland boot

Worm got jealous, screamed “That’s bullshit!”

Then wrapped his body round a cigarette

A frog walked by said, “Y’all need Jesus”

Both yelled back, “Mind your damn business!”

Then a squirrel showed up with a switchblade tooth

Said, “I’ll rob both of y’all for some fermented juice”

Now the whole damn forest in a bar fight mood

Raccoon DJ playin’ trashcan tunes

Beetle crowd surfed off a possum’s back

Worm did donuts in a snail slime track

OH HELL NAH—

Grandma caterpillar started shakin’ ass

Cricket got arrested for smokin’ grass

Mole in the corner throwin’ gang signs up

While two angry ducks scream, “TURN THAT SHIT UP!”

Worm and beetle fightin’ in the mud all night

Cussin’ every second while they bite and fight

“Fuck you!” “No, FUCK YOU MORE!”

Crashin’ through the walls of the pet store

Dirty little goblins in the backyard pit

One smells awful, one talks shit

Whole damn garden hear the chaos yell

Worm and beetle raisin’ absolute hell

By sunrise both passed out cold

Covered in nacho cheese and garden mold

Worm said, “Damn… you ain’t that bad.”

Beetle said, “Yeah… still ugly though, lad.”

Then they rode off drunk on a Roomba wheel

Middle fingers up screamin’ “BUG LIFE’S REAL!”