“Roommate Summoned a Demon but It’s Actually Chill”

Yeah…

Came home at 3AM…

Thought my roommate burned incense…

Nah, bro opened a portal to Hell.

Lights flickerin’, room cold as ice,

Pentagram on the floor lookin’ kinda precise,

Roommate shirtless yellin’, “BRO IT WORKED!”

While a giant red demon just lounged on the couch.

He looked at me slow said, “Yo, what’s good?”

Scary deep voice but he actually cool,

Asked if he could hit my vape one time,

Then apologized ‘cause his horns scratched the blinds.

Thought he’d steal my soul or eat my cat,

But he just watched Netflix in a hoodie and cap,

Made ramen noodles at like 4:15,

And cleaned the kitchen better than we ever seen.

I was scared for a minute or two,

Till he handed me snacks and a Mountain Dew,

Thought he’d drag us underground for eternity,

Turns out bro just likes Korn and therapy.

My roommate summoned a demon but he actually chill,

Pays his half of rent and helps cover bills,

Uses dark magic just to turn on the TV,

And honestly he more responsible than me.

Flames in his eyes but a heart of gold,

Makes great ramen when the nights get cold,

Neighbors scream when they hear him howl,

But he walks my dog so we cool now.

Every Friday night we play Mario Kart,

Demon keeps losin’ then the lights all spark,

Accidentally summoned ghosts in the kitchen again,

Now dead grandma spirits keep stealin’ our pens.

He said Hell ain’t bad, it’s just really hot,

Bad Wi-Fi and the parking lot sucks,

Said Satan got mad ‘cause he called in sick,

Now he hidin’ in our apartment eatin’ Chex Mix.

Landlord came by, almost fainted dead,

Demon offered cookies and some garlic bread,

Now they out back smokin’ by the gate,

Talkin’ ‘bout taxes and the end of days.

He fixed the sink with a wave of his hand,

Folded my laundry better than I can,

Yeah he smell like smoke and burnt-up rain,

But honestly bro I can’t complain.

My roommate summoned a demon but he actually chill,

Only thing he sacrificed was time to kill,

Never thought I’d say this but it’s somehow real…

The demon in apartment 4B?

That dude chill.