Beatin’ Me to Goth Girls

Intro]

“Bro… again?”

Yeah…

Black lipstick on the pillowcase,

And I already know what’s about to take place…

I’m just a lonely little soldier in some boxer briefs,

Tryna live my life in peace and sweet relief,

Then he opens up his phone at half past three,

Searchin’ “big tiddy goth girls emotionally unstable and mean to me.”

Fishnets, chokers, platform boots,

Eyeliner darker than my future roots,

She hissed at him in a grainy TikTok clip,

Now I’m gettin’ strangled in a death grip.

I was meant for romance, maybe makin’ kids,

Not speedrun marathons to Evanescence hits,

He lights one candle and puts on The Cure,

Then suddenly I’m drafted into another war.

And I’m tired…

So tired…

Of hearing “this one’s different, bro…”

No she ain’t.

My owner beats me to goth girls every night,

While “Bring Me The Horizon” plays in colored lights,

I’m beggin’ for retirement, ice packs, and PTO,

But he sees striped thigh-highs and suddenly it’s “GO GO GO!”

Black nails clickin’ on the iPhone screen,

He falls in love every other week it seems,

I’m bruised emotionally and physically, too,

Please stop making me fight for your sad goth boo.

She got pentagrams painted on her wall,

Says “I hate all men” but he still calls,

Now he’s barkin’ for a girl named Raven online,

And I already know I’m losin’ my free time.

I heard him whisper, “she can ruin my life…”

Brother, she sells crystals and owns six knives,

You do not need another “alt girl queen,”

Last month you cried ‘cause one ghosted through Steam.

I used to dream of beaches in the sun,

Now I’m in a hoodie gettin’ death-gripped for fun,

He bought cat ears off Temu yesterday,

And I fear for my existence in a major way.

I’m exhausted…

I got carpet burn and trust issues…

Every time I hear Deftones start playin’,

I know I’m about to see God.

“STEP ON ME—”

NO.

“CALL ME TRASH—”

BRO STOP.

“SPIT IN MY—”

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I didn’t sign up for this tortured emo life,

I just wanted to pee and maybe survive,

But every goth girl with a nose ring smile,

Turns this man feral for at least three miles.

My owner beats me to goth girls every night,

Candles burnin’, Monster cans stacked to the right,

He says “she understands my darkness inside…”

Brother she just reposts raccoons and cries.

Fishnets got him actin’ clinically insane,

Now I’m numb to both pleasure and pain,

If another goth girl says “rawr” in his DMs,

I swear to God I’m clockin’ out permanently then.

So if you see a man with blacked-out nails,

Listening to sad songs while his mental health fails…

Say a prayer for the poor dude downstairs…

‘Cause he’s fightin’ for his life in there.