[Verse 1]
Boy’s got ninety-nine excuses, not a single healthy skill,
Thinks avoiding every feeling is a personality trait still.
Ghost a text, come back with memes,
Call that “processing your dreams.”
Sir… that’s not emotional growth, that’s Wi-Fi with self-esteem.
[Pre-Chorus]
Every problem gets a shrug,
Every red flag gets a grin.
You don’t need another girlfriend…
You need to check yourself in.
[Chorus]
🎵 You need therapy!
Not another situationship or “let’s just wait and see.”
Somebody hand you a couch,
A clipboard and a coping sheet.
You keep collecting heartbreaks
Like they’re Pokémon to beat.
Forget another dating app…
You need therapy! 🎵
[Verse 2]
Every ex is “kind of crazy,” every story’s missing parts.
Funny how the common denominator breaks all the hearts.
Communication? “Maybe later.”
Accountability? “See ya!”
You treat emotional maturity
Like it’s a subscription fee.
[Pre-Chorus]
You can blame Mercury, your childhood,
Or the moonlight through the trees…
But eventually the therapist’s gonna say,
“So… let’s talk about these.”
[Chorus]
🎵 You need therapy!
Not another “I’m just bad at feelings” sympathy.
Put the phone down, tell the truth,
Maybe practice empathy.
You can find a rebound
Quicker than you find your keys.
Forget another first date…
You need therapy! 🎵
[Bridge]
Not a diagnosis, just an observation.
You can’t fix your life with procrastination.
Healing isn’t weakness, crying isn’t scary.
The strongest thing you could do…
Is keep your Tuesday at 2:30.
[Final Chorus]
🎵 You need therapy!
A comfy chair and healthier boundaries.
Maybe after forty sessions
You’ll unlock accountability.
We’ll throw a little party
When you learn sincerity.
Until then… we’ll all agree…
You need therapy!
Therapy!
A little less chaos, a little more clarity!
No shame, no shade… just hilarity.
Somebody book you a therapist already! 🎵
