Pray to the Seeker

I know I’ve talked about my depression, all of what hates me, this is my therapy session, but I want to change, not for you, just for me, I can’t tell who to blame, was it true, it can’t be, I want to get better, life is so short, life changes my letter, this is to much to sort, but god has touched my shoulder, he guides me through life as I get older, sometimes I felt I ran to far ahead, but god is with me till I’m dead, I’ve always felt like the victim, blaming others for my pain, my loss and suffering, suddenly now I am enraged, my whole life I thought I was engaged, but I was never busy, just was to afraid and ashamed, I understand my weakness, I’m surrounded by these walls, painted love with death, soon I will fall to my very fate, the air is so toxic, it takes my breath away, I wish I could block it, so I could escape, holding on to the grasp of life, shouldn’t you relate? Now at the end of time, hope I’m not to late

Running like a sinner, yet praying like a preacher, do I even slow down, or do I dig deeper, as this grave gets steeper, I can’t climb out now, so I’ll throw the fucking shovel, and pray to the seeker

I plant my own seeds just to see them grow, I’ve been on my knees just to watch the show, but they’ve fucking died because I don’t know, maybe one day I’ll be fine, I can only hope just to see, if there is a fucking future where I can be, happy and alone is all I want to see, but they keep stepping into my home, I think I’m gonna blow up, all of this rage building into me, it’s gonna come out, it’s torturing my greed, I’m gettin fucking pissed, count to one, two, three, end this fucking nightmare, I wanna go please, soon this world will end, I just want to be free

Running like a sinner, yet praying like a preacher, do I even slow down, or do I dig deeper, as this grave gets steeper, I can’t climb out now, so I’ll throw the fucking shovel, and pray to the seeker

Please end all of my suffering, all of my pain, I just keep fumbling, under the rain, I’m sick and tired, of this stupid game, ima end the fucking world, if I don’t behave

Running like a sinner, yet praying like a preacher, do I even slow down, or do I dig deeper, as this grave gets steeper, I can’t climb out now, so I’ll throw the fucking shovel, and pray to the seeker

(Dear lord, I know I’m a fuck up, please forgive my unforgivable ways, please save me from my nasty sin, my toxicity, please let my unholy spirit be cleansed, make me see what holiness you have kept for my unfaithful soul, amen)