My own Grave

You speak to me, like I would understand how to think, but to believe in dreams, is a nightmare of all things, don’t you understand? I’m not ready to move on, I never had a plan, my conscience is so far gone, my grasp of life, can’t even imagine what it would be like, I see no future for all of me, only painful memories, strangling my own damn heart, god how did I even make it this far, I thought my life was over, at the very start, drowning in my blood, soon I’ll get the message, seeing a flood of emotions, damn it, why do I devote this, all of my willpower put into motion, please let me soak in all of my pain, I can’t even kill myself, so let me fade away, seeing a jar of all my sin, how do I even fucking win, I don’t even deserve to be next to him, but he won’t let me go, please end this and tell me how I should know

Maybe one second, or maybe two days, one day I will learn, too feel fucking ok, but today, all I feel is pain, please let me go, to drown in my own rain, make me see, a beautiful life, let me be, ok and alive, but I’ll have to learn, to not be afraid, of my own past, just to see my grave

If I would swim to my success, never to quit, to be my best, maybe this will be it, maybe I could rest, but my past comes back to haunt my very dreams, showing me my old life, and how I could be six feet deep underground, with a gravestone above me, carved with my name, below a family tree, as my family cries and grieves, soon they’ll forget, who I used to be, but it’s ok, I don’t want them to remember, it might slow them down, it might just be fucking over, so please keep them safe, even if I meet, my own damn grave, they don’t deserve defeat, all they deserve is love each day, so know I never wanted to die, but I can’t see a way, so tonight let me be buried in my own grave

Maybe one second, or maybe two days, one day I will learn, too feel fucking ok, but today, all I feel is pain, please let me go, to drown in my own rain, make me see, a beautiful life, let me be, ok and alive, but I’ll have to learn, to not be afraid, of my own past, just to see my grave

Maybe one second, or maybe two days, one day I will learn, too feel fucking ok, but today, all I feel is pain, please let me go, to drown in my own rain, make me see, a beautiful life, let me be, ok and alive, but I’ll have to learn, to not be afraid, of my own past, just to see my grave