“Wow, Kurt Did It Again”
Genre: Sarcastic Country-Rock
By: The Crew (Narrated by Dillon, Joe, Brandon, Paul)
Starring: Kurt, the Assistant Manager Slayer
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[Verse 1 – Dillon]
Well damn, would ya look at that—
Another assistant manager wearin’ a hat
That says “Demoted” stitched real clean,
Kurt’s got more bodies than a guillotine.
Conner walked in thinkin’ he’d run the show,
Didn’t even last long enough to grow.
Truck keys lost, job quotes late,
And now he’s on the board with a brand-new fate.
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[Chorus – All (sarcastic harmonies)]
Wow, Kurt did it again, y’all, send another one down that drain,
One week they’re “the future,” next week they’re insane.
He’ll smile in your face while he lines up the blade,
It’s a Square Cow classic — goodbye, Conner parade.
So raise a glass to the fallin’ few—
’Cause next week it might be you!
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[Verse 2 – Joe]
I’ve seen six guys come and go real fast,
Each one thought they’d be the one to last.
Kurt said, “You’re my guy, I believe in you,”
Then blamed ‘em all for shit he couldn’t do.
Now Conner’s back on the floor, wearin’ shame,
While Kurt’s still playin’ that same ol’ game.
Can’t book a job, but sure talks slick,
That clipboard magic must be some kinda trick.
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[Chorus – All]
Yeah, wow, Kurt did it again, flushed another name down the line,
They climb that ladder, then fall every time.
He’ll gas you up just to laugh when you trip,
Then tell the crew you “couldn’t handle the ship.”
So don’t unpack your office too soon—
You’re one bad quote from meetin’ your doom.
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[Bridge – Brandon (talking like he’s tellin’ a ghost story)]
He once demoted a guy just for askin’ for days off…
One forgot to order pads, now he’s gone soft.
Kurt don’t blink, don’t care, don’t pause—
Just points with a smile like “You broke the laws.”
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[Final Chorus – All, rowdy and loud]
Oh, wow, Kurt did it again, same song, new face,
Another one bites the dust in disgrace.
Might be Conner this week, but we’ve all seen the stage—
He’ll crown you king then toss you from the cage.
So polish your boots and pray real tight—
Kurt’s pickin’ favorites… but no one sleeps at night.
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[Outro – Paul (laughing)]
Somebody start a group chat for “Kurt’s Ex-Managers”…
Conner just joined.