[Verse]
Well, he called us up on a Saturday morn',
With a voice as sharp as a box full of thorns.
Said, "I got a king-size bed and a chandelier,
Move ‘em fast, boys, don’t scratch it, you hear?"
[Verse 2]
His list was long as a country mile,
Packing up nicknacks in a circus style.
"Bubble wrap each plate, no two can touch,
And don’t ding my grandpa's cuckoo clock too much."
[Chorus]
Oh, Lord, I’ll never forget the day,
When the customer from hell came our way.
No matter what we did, it wasn’t right,
I’d rather face a tornado than move for him twice.
[Verse 3]
He watched us load with an eagle eye,
Pointed at the couch and started to sigh.
“That’s not straight—put it down, try again,
Hire some new guys ‘cause you’ll never win.”
[Verse 4]
We took it all slow, but he still went pale,
“Did you scratch this here chair? I’ll send you to jail!”
By the time we were done, it was half past eight,
And he stood there yelling the load looked late.
[Bridge]
Well, the day he moved was the day we prayed,
“I hope this guy just decides to stay!”
But if he calls again, the answer is clear,
We’ll be "out of business" if he comes near.