CSM’s Barracks Bunny

Intro]

Yeah…

Smoke pit rumors movin’ fast tonight…

Barracks bunny rolled up Friday night,

Leggings on, lashes lookin’ right,

Walked through the bricks like she owned the base,

Every soldier froze when they seen her face.

Privates flexin’, specialists cappin’,

One dude bought a Mustang just to make it happen,

But nobody knew who she really chased,

Till the whole damn battalion caught the case.

CQ runner yelling down the hall,

“Bro, Sergeant Major about to lose it all!”

Phones blowing up, gossip gettin’ louder,

Everybody gathered round like wildfire.

Barracks bunny got caught with the Command Sergeant Major,

Now the whole brigade treating Monday like theater,

Skipped every private, skipped every SPC,

Went straight for the man with the sharp HD.

Now the staff duty desk got stories for ages,

Everybody laughing at the Sergeant Major,

Used to scream “discipline!” at every formation,

Now he hiding from the whole organization.

CSM always yelling “be on time!”

Whole time sneakin’ in past quiet time,

Talking military bearing all day long,

Meanwhile leaving hoodie strings at her dorm.

Then the door swung open — everybody froze,

Staff duty standing there like “oh no…”

There she was wearing Sergeant Major’s sweater,

And his career wasn’t looking much better.

Colonel mad, First Sergeant stressed,

Even CIF workers joking at the desk,

Smoke pit comedians having a field day,

Nobody talked about anything else all day.

Barracks bunny got caught with the Command Sergeant Major,

Now every safety brief feeling way stranger,

Rumors moving quicker than a Hellcat racer,

Everybody whisper when they see the Sergeant Major.

Now he shopping quiet at the PX store,

Trying not to hear privates laugh anymore,

Meanwhile she transferred by the end of the week,

Left behind chaos and legendary tea.

Yeah…

CQ never sleeps…

And neither do barracks rumors…