Trippin’ at the Pink Flamingo

Intro]

Yeah…

I took two gummies and a mystery shot,

Now the exit sign talkin’ like it know me personally…

Oh no…

Walked in the club feelin’ cool as hell,

Five minutes later I forgot how to spell,

DJ looked like a lizard in a leather vest,

Bouncer built like a fridge with a tribal chest.

Neon lights meltin’ all over the wall,

Thought the disco ball was a giant eyeball,

Girl on the pole said, “You alright, sweetie?”

I said, “Why your left eyebrow lookin’ 3D?”

My buddy Steve disappeared in the smoke,

Came back cryin’ holdin’ mozzarella sticks, no joke,

Said he made peace with a bathroom plant,

Now he callin’ the ficus his “spirit ant.”

I was trippin’, slippin’, losin’ my mind,

Thought Cupid was the bartender servin’ me lime,

Whole club breathin’ like an alien squid,

And I tipped a mannequin thinkin’ she did a split.

I’m trippin’ balls at the strip club tonight,

Throwin’ dollar bills at a traffic light,

Bass too loud, walls start to jiggle,

One girl danced and my knees did wiggle.

Security said, “Sir, please calm down,”

I said, “Your beard just turned into a clown,”

Everybody laughin’, I’m scared and impressed,

Think I just fell in love with a girl named Lex.

Went to the ATM for another round,

Machine started hummin’ like a whale sound,

PIN number vanished from my tiny brain,

So I typed in “banana” like a psycho in pain.

Saw a dude eatin’ wings in the VIP,

Thought he was the king of the galaxy,

Asked the DJ if the floor was alive,

He said, “Brother… you should not drive.”

One dancer floated down like a magical swan,

I screamed, “MAMA, THE CARPET’S GONE!”

Turns out I just closed my eyes too long,

Now I’m slow dancin’ with a mop to the song.

Everything wobblin’, time movin’ weird,

Thought my reflection had a thicker beard,

Bathroom attendant gave me gum and advice,

Said, “Drink some water before you see Christ.”

I’m trippin’ balls at the strip club tonight,

Thought the pole transformed into a satellite,

One girl winked and I almost cried,

‘Cause her glitter looked like the northern lights.

My friend got lost near the buffalo wings,

Now he preachin’ enlightenment to vending machines,

Whole squad gone off one bad decision,

Now the DJ sound like he speakin’ in riddles.

I hugged the jukebox…

Called it “brother…”

A ceiling fan told me to forgive my mother…

Somebody’s heel flew past my head,

And I swear to God the couch just said:

“Get home safe, king…”

Yeah, trippin’ balls at the strip club tonight,

Everything blurry but the vibes feel right,

Can’t feel my legs but I found inner peace,

While a dancer named Star sold me mozzarella feast.

Sun came up while we sat in the lot,

Still hearin’ echoes from the last bass drop,

Never mix psychedelics with tequila again…

Unless Steve calls me next weekend.