Ghost Poop

[Verse 1]
Sat down like any other Tuesday
Phone in hand
Scrolling my feed
Felt that rumble
Yeah it’s go time
Pulled the lever
Did the deed
Looked down
Felt kinda nervous
You know that usual dread
Reached back
Ready for the damage
Then checked the paper and I said—
[Chorus]
It was a ghost poop
Nothing on the sheet
But I swear I went (went, went)
Phantom in the bowl
Then it just up and left
I’m sittin’ here confused
Pants around my shoes
Like
“What did you do?”
It was a ghost poop
Clean getaway and I got no proof
I’m lookin’ at the roll like
“Is this the truth?”
It was a ghost poop
[Verse 2]
Ran the tape back in my memory
Did I even feel that drop?
Stomach’s calm
There’s no emergency
But my mind just will not stop
Do I trust this tiny miracle?
Or sit here one more round?
One more swipe
Just to be sure
Though
Blank page staring me down
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Is this good luck?
Is this a sign?
Did I just level up
In this weird game of life?
Friends won’t believe me
Group chat lit
Took a victory lap
From the bathroom to the kitchen
Like—
[Chorus]

Playful pop-punk with crisp distorted guitars and bouncy bass, mid-tempo. Male vocals leaning comedic but earnest, tight drum groove with punchy snares and tom fills. Chorus opens up with gang shouts and call-and-response ad-libs; bridge drops to palm-muted guitars then slams back in with a big, chantable hook. Clean, upfront vocal mix so every joke lands.