You Matter V6

I was 7 years old wearing the dress, felt cold but felt alive!

Halloween was the best, never felt this before.

Felt amazing about put me to the floor!

A few years past, felt empty, felt dark.

Nothing made me feel like that dress did, it hit the mark

Felt envy, jealously, disappointment

Looking at the girls wearing dresses

skirts and makeup made me jealous

I felt I needed, wanted was spoused to be

Is this the key?

I hid behind a dinner plate

A beard grew on my face

600 pounds, countless times I cried

My brain was fried

Mirrors scared me

Being social felt wierd

I wasn’t gay?

I wasn’t

I felt nothing I felt alone

I felt invisible

School dances past, I didn’t go

I wanted to wear the dresses

I wanted to create messes

I wanted to be pretty

I wanted to be flirty

I wanted tooooo

LIVE LIFE

Live to be the person I envied

Live to be the person I wanted

Live to be happy and free

Live to be those who I envied

My mind was in pieces

There was no first kisses

There was no first for me

After 30 years of fighting

Fighting the urges

Fighting the thoughts

Hiding from mirrors

Hiding from reality

Watching the women mature

I couldn’t relate

I would just fixate

Many attempts,

Many tried

I just could become unalive

I almost did

I tried

I really did

I thought it was the only waaaaaaay

To

End

This

Suffering

Finally I sought help

Hiding became no more

I understood

I could now relate

I could live to be me

Live to be free

I let them think

I let them mock

I let them fixate on my flaws

But I lived

…

…

I matter

I matter to those who love me

I matter to those who know me

I matter to those who have fought and lost

I matter to those who are fighting

I matter

I MATTER!

Now I live, I live to be me

I live to speak

I live to motivate

Inspire

To create!

I scream, “Trust the process, envy the beauty”

Trust me, trust you

Live, Laugh, Conquer

And Remeber

You Always Matter

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