I was 7 years old wearing the dress, felt cold but felt the best!
Halloween was the date, I never felt like this before.
It Felt amazing about put me to the floor!
A few years past, felt empty, felt dark.
Nothing made me feel like that dress did, it hit the mark
Felt envy, jealousy, disappointment,sorrow
Didn’t know if these feeling would make it to tommorow
Daily Im Looking at the girls wearing dresses,
skirts and makeup made me jealous
I felt I needed, wanted what I was spoused to be
Is this the key?
I hid behind a dinner plate
A beard grew on my face
600 pounds, countless times I cried
My brain was fried
Mirrors scared me
This was not the key
Being social felt wierd
I wasn’t gay?
I wasn’t
I felt nothing
I felt alone
I felt invisible
School dances past, I didn’t go
I couldn’t be the one in tow
I wanted to wear the dresses
I wanted to create messes
I wanted to be pretty
I wanted to be flirty
I wanted tooooo
Liiiiiiiiiiiive!
Live to be the person I wanted to see
Live to be the person I wanted to be
Live to be happy and free
Live to be those who I envied
My mind was in pieces
There was no first kisses
There was no firsts for me
After 30 years of fighting
Fighting the urges
Fighting the thoughts
Hiding from mirrors
Hiding from reality
Watching the women mature
I couldn’t relate
I would just fixate
Many attempts,
Many tries
I just could become unalive
I almost did
I tried
I really did
I thought it was the only waaaaaaay
To.
End.
This.
Suf fer ing
Finally I sought help
Hiding became no more
I understood
I could now relate
I could live to be me
Live to be free
I let them think
I let them mock
I let them fixate on my flaws
But I lived
…
…
Because I matter
I matter to those who love me
I matter to those who know me
I matter to those who have fought and lost
I matter to those who are fighting
You matter
I MATTER!
Now I live,
I live to be me
I live to speak
I live to motivate
Inspire
To create!
I scream, “Trust the process, envy the beauty”
Trust me…Trust you
Live, Laugh, Conquer
And Remeber
You Always Matter
Be The conversation that saves not that kills
