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I was 7 years old wearing the dress, felt cold but felt the best!

Halloween was the date, I never felt like this before.

It Felt amazing about put me to the floor!

A few years past, felt empty, felt dark.

Nothing made me feel like that dress did, it hit the mark

Felt envy, jealousy, disappointment,sorrow

Didn’t know if these feeling would make it to tommorow

Daily Im Looking at the girls wearing dresses,

skirts and makeup made me jealous

I felt I needed, wanted what I was spoused to be

Is this the key?

I hid behind a dinner plate

A beard grew on my face

600 pounds, countless times I cried

My brain was fried

Mirrors scared me

This was not the key

Being social felt wierd

I wasn’t gay?

I wasn’t

I felt nothing

I felt alone

I felt invisible

School dances past, I didn’t go

I couldn’t be the one in tow

I wanted to wear the dresses

I wanted to create messes

I wanted to be pretty

I wanted to be flirty

I wanted tooooo

Liiiiiiiiiiiive!

Live to be the person I wanted to see

Live to be the person I wanted to be

Live to be happy and free

Live to be those who I envied

My mind was in pieces

There was no first kisses

There was no firsts for me

After 30 years of fighting

Fighting the urges

Fighting the thoughts

Hiding from mirrors

Hiding from reality

Watching the women mature

I couldn’t relate

I would just fixate

Many attempts,

Many tries

I just could become unalive

I almost did

I tried

I really did

I thought it was the only waaaaaaay

To.

End.

This.

Suf fer ing

Finally I sought help

Hiding became no more

I understood

I could now relate

I could live to be me

Live to be free

I let them think

I let them mock

I let them fixate on my flaws

But I lived

…

…

Because I matter

I matter to those who love me

I matter to those who know me

I matter to those who have fought and lost

I matter to those who are fighting

You matter

I MATTER!

Now I live,

I live to be me

I live to speak

I live to motivate

Inspire

To create!

I scream, “Trust the process, envy the beauty”

Trust me…Trust you

Live, Laugh, Conquer

And Remeber

You Always Matter

Be The conversation that saves not that kills