I was 7 years old wearing the dress, felt cold but felt alive!
Halloween was the best, never felt this before.
Felt amazing about put me to the floor!
A few years past, felt empty, felt dark.
Nothing made me feel like that dress did, it hit the mark
Felt envy, jealously, disappointment
Looking at the girls wearing dresses
skirts and makeup made me jealous
I felt I needed, wanted was spoused to be
Is this the key?
I hid behind a dinner plate
A beard grew on my face
600 pounds, countless times I cried
My brain was fried
Mirrors scared me
Being social felt wierd
I wasn’t gay?
I wasn’t
I felt nothing I felt alone
I felt invisible
School dances past, I didn’t go
I wanted to wear the dresses
I wanted to create messes
I wanted to be pretty
I wanted to be flirty
I wanted tooooo
LIVE LIFE
Live to be the person I envied
Live to be the person I wanted
Live to be happy and free
Live to be those who I envied
My mind was in pieces
There was no first kisses
There was no first for me
After 30 years of fighting
Fighting the urges
Fighting the thoughts
Hiding from mirrors
Hiding from reality
Watching the women mature
I couldn’t relate
I would just fixate
Many attempts,
Many tried
I just could become unalive
I almost did
I tried
I really did
I thought it was the only waaaaaaay
To
End
This
Suffering
Finally I sought help
Hiding became no more
I understood
I could now relate
I could live to be me
Live to be free
I let them think
I let them mock
I let them fixate on my flaws
But I lived
…
…
I matter
I matter to those who love me
I matter to those who know me
I matter to those who have fought and lost
I matter to those who are fighting
I matter
I MATTER!
Now I live, I live to be me
I live to speak
I live to motivate
Inspire
To create!
I scream, “Trust the process, envy the beauty”
Trust me,
trust you
Live, Laugh, Conquer
And Remeber
You Always Matter
Be The conversation that saves not that kills
