Parking Lot Hunger Games

District 12?

Nah, welcome to Walmart at 4 PM in December.

I pull into the lot with hope in my heart…

Then instantly regret it because humans fall apart.

Someone’s backing out blind, someone’s cutting the lane,

A minivan doing donuts like it’s running from pain.

A dude sees my blinker, speeds up just to block—

Bro, you ain’t winning a medal for being a jock.

Someone’s stalking my spot like a lion in snow,

I swear this whole place runs on pure ego.

I just want to park… I just want to survive…

But this festive battlefield tests my WILL TO STAY ALIVE.

Parking Lot Hunger Games,

Where nobody stops and everyone blames.

Every car’s a weapon, every turn’s a fight—

Surviving this chaos is the REAL Silent Night.

Parking Lot Hunger Games,

One wrong move and you're engulfed in flames—

Metaphorically…

(I hope.)

Pedestrians walk diagonal at one mile per hour,

Meanwhile traffic builds like a Christmas tower.

A dude’s loading his trunk for seventeen years,

Blocking four spots while shifting his gears.

Two SUVs duel like gladiators in Rome,

Neither willing to yield the spot near home.

A cart rolls by itself on a mission of doom—

Not my problem… until it hits my room.

The lights are blinking, the rage is rising…

Holiday shopping should come with advising.

Parking Lot Hunger Games,

Where blinker signals die and chaos reigns.

People honk in ten different tones—

Someone’s yelling on a megaphone.

Parking Lot Hunger Games,

Every victory feels like claim to fame—

Finding a spot?

Bro, that’s a legendary name.

Left turn denied…

Right turn betrayed…

The Christmas lot is where sanity fades.

Only the brave…

Only the bold…

Can emerge from this asphalt battlefield whole.

Parking Lot Hunger Games,

Holiday madness in traffic frames.

I grip the wheel like a warrior king—

JUST LET ME PARK MY DING-DANG THING.

Parking Lot Hunger Games,

One wrong move and your spirit maims—

Merry Christmas,

I guess…

We survived the flames.

“Next year…

I’m ordering everything online.”