[Intro – Spoken over funky bass]
“Welcome to our store—how can I ruin your day?”
[Verse 1]
Clocked in late, manager’s already stressed,
Name tag crooked, lookin’ like a mess.
Customer’s mad ‘cause the sale expired,
Kid's screamin’ loud like the store's on fire.
The scanner’s beepin’ like a synth gone wrong,
I’ve been on register way too long.
Somebody dropped aisle nine again—
Slipped in a puddle? Cool. Let’s pretend.
[Pre-Chorus – Stress Builds Funkier]
Stockin’ shelves, dodgin’ carts,
Tryin’ not to fall apart.
“Hey, do you work here?” — Bruh, the vest?
This retail life is a stress test!
[Chorus]
It’s retail madness, baby!
Prices droppin’ like my will to live—
It’s retail madness, baby!
Smile on my face, got nothing left to give.
Line’s out the door, I’m losin’ my soul—
But hey, we’re runnin’ that rollback roll!
It’s retail! Maaaadness!
Can I get a “Clean-up on my dreams?”
[Verse 2]
“Do you have this shirt in a size no one wears?”
“Y’all got a restroom?” — Use your stares.
Karen’s demandin’ the manager NOW—
(He's hiding in the back, snackin’ on chow.)
Someone stole all the hangers again,
I just fixed that display—my last zen!
Lost child? Found. Lost hope? Still missing.
Break room’s full, and the fridge is hissing.
[Pre-Chorus]
Busted shoes, thirty cents pay raise,
Still workin’ doubles like it's a phase.
Holiday music on repeat—
If Mariah sings once more, I’ll yeet.
[Chorus]
It’s retail madness, baby!
Shoutin’ “price check!” like a war-time song.
It’s retail madness, baby!
Where everything’s broke but I play along.
Returns with no receipt, emotions unstable—
Tryna survive with the gum under the table!
It’s retail! Maaaadness!
And I’m only halfway through my shift
[Bridge – Breakdown Fantasy]
What if I just walked out slow…
Set the scanner down, took a bow, and goooone?
“I quit!” I yell with groove and flair,
Crowd starts clappin’ as I dance down the stairs!
But nah… I clock back in with pride,
Because my crew’s still here, and we ride or die.
[Final Chorus]
It’s retail madness, baby!
But we own this circus every day.
It’s retail madness, baby!
And somehow… we still slay.
We dodge, we duck, we take the heat—
While countin’ coins just to eat.
It’s retail! Maaaadness!
But we’re the backbone of these streets.
[Outro – Spoken, Funky Instrumental Fades]
“Clean-up on aisle everything. Also, we’re outta patience.”
[Laughter]
Hahahahahahahahaha!
TheTrinityOfMasks
