Crazy

Midnight sitting on the edge of my bed,

Watching every minute running circles in my head.

You were leaving in the morning, gone for seven days,

And I was trying to steal more time before you slipped away.

I asked you to stay awake, asked you to play a game,

But your eyes kept closing and I couldn’t do the same.

I was pulling at the night, trying not to let it end,

Turning all my fear and hurt into anger again.

I’m sick of being first for every call and every kiss,

Every “I love you”, every moment that exists.

You fell asleep while I was falling apart,

And neither of us knew what to do with that.

You looked me in the eye and called me crazy,

Like you never saw the battles that made me.

Laughed while you said it, like it didn’t mean a thing,

But that one word echoed louder than anything.

I wanted you to stay, now I want you gone,

One minute holding on, the next moving on.

Maybe I was messy, maybe I was breaking lately,

But it still hurt when you called me crazy.

You took the shirt I sleep with every single night,

The one that keeps me grounded when my head won’t fight fair.

A year of comfort wrapped up in faded seams,

And suddenly it felt like you were taking more than me.

I told you, “Go home,” over and over again,

But you stayed where you were while the silence settled in.

You turned your back and slept, I stared into the dark,

Trying to figure out where the hell we’d fallen apart.

You looked me in the eye and called me crazy,

Like you never saw the battles that made me.

Laughed while you said it, like it didn’t mean a thing,

But that one word echoed louder than anything.

I wanted you to stay, now I want you gone,

One minute holding on, the next moving on.

Maybe I was messy, maybe I was breaking lately,

But it still hurt when you called me crazy.

Somewhere in the night I gave up on the fight,

Curled up next to you and held you through the night.

Then morning came too quickly, you kissed me goodbye,

And suddenly the anger turned to guilt inside.

Now you’re on your way home and I’m stuck with my thoughts,

Replaying every second, every battle that we fought.

I don’t think you’re a villain, I don’t think I’m one too,

I think two hurting people just didn’t know what to do.

You looked me in the eye and called me crazy,

And maybe I was acting like someone I couldn’t be.

But underneath the shouting and the things we didn’t say,

Was someone scared of losing one more night before you went away.

I wanted you to stay, I never wanted war,

Just a little more time like we had before.

Maybe we’ll laugh about it, maybe it still shakes me,

But I’ll never forget the night you called me crazy.

Crazy…

That’s the word you chose.

Crazy…

But that’s not all I was.