Half loyal

You fall asleep with your hand in mine

TV glow painting blue across your face

And I lie there counting all the ways

A good girl wouldn’t think like this

You talk about apartments, future plans

Dogs in the garden, keys on chains

While I’m wondering why her name

Feels different in my mouth these days

I never crossed the line

But God, I dance beside it

I’m half loyal

Half gone

One foot here

One where I don’t belong

You kiss me slow

While my mind runs wild

Trying not to turn your love

Into collateral

And you trust me

God, you trust me completely

But my heart split quietly

Long before either of us noticed

I’m half loyal

And it’s killing me

She sends a message, my whole chest lifts

Like my body answers before I do

You ask me why I’m smiling at my phone

I say “nothing,” and you still believe me

And that’s the part that hurts the most

You never gave me reasons to leave

No screaming matches, no shattered plates

Just me becoming somebody you can’t keep

You love me with both hands

While I hold back half of mine

I’m half loyal

Half ash

Trying to build forever

On a crack like this

You hold me close

Like I’m all yours

While every little thought of her

Starts another war

And you trust me

Like I’d never break you

But there are secrets underneath

Everything I say to you

I’m half loyal

And you deserve full love

Maybe nothing happens

Maybe she never knows

Maybe I bury every feeling

And nobody gets hurt

But I still hear her laugh

In the middle of your sentences

And I still feel guilty

Every time you call me “home”

So now I sit beside you in your car

Streetlights flickering over your skin

And you’re talking while I realize

I’ve been disappearing inch by inch

I don’t wanna be the villain here

Don’t wanna turn your heart into damage

But staying starts to feel dishonest

When half of me is somewhere you can’t reach

I’m half loyal

Half breaking

Trying to love you right

With a heart already shaking

And maybe you’ll hate me

Maybe you should

‘Cause you gave me something real

And I gave you half-good

So if one day

I finally tell the truth

Just know it wasn’t your fault

I was already splitting in two

I’m half loyal

But you loved me whole