Nice boy

You wait outside my workplace in the rain

Coffee in your hand, acting like it’s nothing

You know my order, know my middle name

Know when I’m lying when I say I’m functioning

You kiss my forehead at the traffic lights

Tell me I deserve the world and mean it

And every single time you hold me right

I hate myself a little more for needing

Someone else inside my head

Every time you pull me in

You’re a nice boy

That’s the worst part

No slammed doors, no smoking gun

Just a good heart

And I should love you

Like you love me

But there’s a girl-shaped shadow

Living underneath

Every “I miss you”

Every late-night call

You’re a nice boy

You just met me at the wrong time, that’s all

She laughs and suddenly the room turns gold

Like all the air changes when she’s in it

I memorize the stories that she told

Replay her voice like it’s a song unfinished

And you still ask me how my day has been

Still tell your friends that I’m your future

While I’m sitting there beside you on the couch

Wondering if she could ever love me too

You look at me like I’m enough

While I’m somewhere else again

You’re a nice boy

That’s the worst part

No broken glass, no cheating scars

Just a pure heart

And I should want you

The way I try to

But there’s a girl in every corner

Of the life we built

Every slow dance

Every bedroom wall

You’re a nice boy

You just loved me at the wrong time, that’s all

Maybe in another life

I never met her eyes

Maybe then your name would sound

Like home instead of guilt tonight

And I know you’d take a bullet for me

God, I wish that could be enough

But you can’t compete with a feeling

I never asked for

So now I count the silence after calls

And stare too long when your name flashes

You say “forever” like it isn’t sharp

Like it doesn’t cut me where the truth is

Because you deserve a kind of love

That doesn’t hesitate in darkness

And I deserve to stop pretending

My heart isn’t already somewhere else

You’re a nice boy

And I mean it

You gave me everything you had

I just couldn’t keep it

So if I lose you

I understand

‘Cause loving me was holding water

In your hands

And I’ll still think of

Everything we were

You’re a nice boy

I’m just not the right girl anymore