[Verse 1]
I’m talking to you like you’re still here
Same eyes, just a different year
You’d hate the way I close myself off
Second-guessing every laugh
You used to trust without a doubt
Now I trace every detail out
You’d call me out for all these walls
Say I don’t feel things like I did at all
[Pre-Chorus]
And I can hear you in my head
Every promise that I said
Chorus
I became what I swore I’d never be
Over medicated and anxiety ridden
Reading into everything
Turning small into something
You’d say, “that’s not you, not at all”
But I’ve changed since the fall
And I hate that you’d see me this way
But I’m not who you knew today
[Verse 2]
You’d hate the nights I stay awake
Overthinking every mistake
You slept easy, you felt safe
Now I flinch at every change
You believed in what you saw
I look deeper for the flaw
You’d say I’m ruining my mind
But you weren’t there at the time
[Pre-Chorus]
You’d say, “just let it go, move on”
But it’s not that simple when it’s gone
[Chorus]
I became what I swore I’d never be
Over medicated and anxiety ridden
Reading into everything
Turning small into something
You’d say, “that’s not you, not at all”
But I’ve changed since the fall
And I hate that you’d see me this way
But I’m not who you knew today
[Verse 3]
I said I’d never push away
People who were there to stay
Said I’d never doubt so fast
Or let one moment shape my past
But here I am, doing it all
Building up another wall
You’d be disappointed, I know
But you didn’t see it unfold
[Verse 4]
You’d hate the way I scan a room
Like danger’s always coming soon
Every glance feels sharp and loud
Like I’m exposed within a crowd
I used to walk in, head held high
Now I avoid and wonder why
You’d tell me I’m still safe to be
But it don’t feel that way to me
[Verse 5]
And work don’t feel the same no more
Different eyes than ones before
I swear they see it on my face
Like something’s shifted out of place
I keep it in, I act alright
But carry it through every night
You’d say, “don’t let them change your view”
But it’s already changing you
[Verse 6]
And I’m so angry all the time
Short fuse, losing peace of mind
Little things just set me off
Words feel sharp, the world feels rough
You’d hate the way I’ve learnt to cope
Clinging onto pills and hope
But even then I’m stuck the same
Still feeling helpless in the pain
[Bridge]
I wish I could explain it right
How something small rewired my mind
How trust just doesn’t feel the same
How everything now feels like a game
You’d say, “don’t let it change your heart”
But it already tore that part
[Chorus]
I became what I swore I’d never be
Guarded thoughts and apathy
Questioning what’s real or not
Losing parts of what I’ve got
You’d say, “that’s not you, fight it back”
But I don’t know where I’m at
And I hate that you’d see me this way
But I’m trying to be you again someday
[Outro]
If you could see me standing here
You’d see the change, you’d feel the fear
I’m still me, just not the same
Trying to carry both the pain
I’m sorry.
Rin
