R3d&Blue!

Red lights flicker on the dashboard while I drive too fast again,

Knuckles cracked against the steering wheel, trying not to cave in.

Everybody says I’m angry, like anger’s all I know,

But rage is just what happens when the hurt has nowhere else to go.

Red in my veins, red in my head,

Red words I should’ve never said.

I burn through people like cigarettes,

Then hate myself when they finally leave.

Cause fire looks beautiful

Until it touches skin.

Red is the part of me begging to be felt,

Blue is the part that collapses by itself.

One side screams so loud the whole room shakes,

One side drowns quietly without a trace.

And every night they fight inside my chest,

Like love and violence sharing the same bed.

I don’t know which one’s worse to lose —

The part of me that’s red,

Or the part that’s blue.

Blue mornings in a silent house, curtains always closed,

Phone lighting up beside me while I stare right through the glow.

People think sadness cries itself out eventually,

But mine just learned to sit beside me comfortably.

Blue lungs breathing shallow in the dark,

Blue songs tearing quietly apart,

Blue eyes staring at the ceiling fan,

Trying to remember who I am.

Cause oceans look peaceful

Right before they pull you under.

Red is the part of me begging to be saved,

Blue is the part already digging the grave.

One side throws punches at the walls for release,

One side just wants everything to freeze.

And every night they bleed into the truth,

That anger’s just another shade of blue.

I don’t know which one hurts me more —

The part of me at war,

Or the part that’s bruised.

Then one night at three seventeen,

The colours finally touched,

Red melted into blue inside my bloodstream all at once.

And nobody warned me

Pain could turn purple too.

Now I’m purple in the headlights,

Purple in the pulse beneath my skin,

Half fury, half exhaustion,

Not sure where either one begins.

Red taught me how to fight the world,

Blue taught me how to disappear,

But purple is the colour of

Realising both were fear.

So if you see me glowing violet in the night,

That’s just what happens

When somebody survives too long

Between red and blue.