Last letter

You made me feel safe

far away from the loudness of reality

your voice was music to my ears because the sound of it was so peaceful and elegant

the glare from your eyes had a reflection

that acted as a screen to show me memories that we have made and it always reminded me why we had such a connection

the way your fingers would foxtrot across my skin felt like falling rose pedals

but it’s bittersweet because the only reason the pedals fell was because the rose was dying

I did everything that I could to keep it alive

but maybe my water was poisonous

a mixture of insecurity and intense fear

the fear of losing the one thing I wanted most

you used to lay in my arms and fall asleep on my chest while we talked all night

and now the only time we converse is when it’s me and your ghost

most people are afraid of not doing enough

but I did the complete opposite

I did way too much too fast and you were over exposed

I don’t blame you for not talking to me I just wish I knew the reason why

so I could have some closure from it all and get it off of my mind

I write these poems and even a book for you

but a simple text or conversation just isn’t worth your time

loving you is a bad idea anyway

so many red flags I overlooked like I was colorblind

I had tunnel vision almost as if you were the only thing my eyes could see

I got lost in the aura of your galaxy

pulled in by the gravity of your essence

like a black hole with no escape

we turned out to be a crime scene

not a love scene

instead of what could have one day been vacations and wedding rings

we were murder and caution tape

I wanted to form a covenant

but all I ever meant to you was a living sacrifice

ritual

you cut me open just to watch me bleed

I was always there for you but when were you ever there for me?

I no longer find peace with the sound of your voice I find peace in the singing of birds and

the voice of God

I no longer get lost in your eyes

they’ve gone stale and dry

I could forgive you for doing what you’ve done to me but only if you make the attempt so if you ever come looking for me I’m not that hard to find

goodbye