Not to be gone

Verse

You told me, don’t cry when I’m gone

Like it was something I could choose

Now I wake up in the silence

Reaching for a version of you

Your jacket’s still hanging by the doorway

Your cup’s still next to the sink

I stand there longer than I should

Like you might still come back to me

Pre-C

I’ve been trying to keep believing

Trying not to lose my ground

But every night my hands start shaking

When the house stops making sound

Chorus

I don’t have a reason to be angry at God

But I can’t say I agree

You’re gone too far

And I’m still here, still breathing

I don’t curse heaven, I don’t curse fate

But I hate the silence you left in this place

If love is the answer they’re preaching to me

Then tell me why you’re not here with me

(You’re not here with me)

Verse

You fought so hard, you never complained

Even when it hurt just to stand

I watched you smile through the weakness

So I wouldn’t understand

I memorized the sound of the monitors

The way your hand felt in mine

I told you we still had time

But time was already saying goodbye

Pre-C

Heaven gained what I still need

I lost you to a war I couldn’t win

If this is mercy, if this is grace

Why does it feel like abandonment?

Chorus

I don’t have a reason to be angry at God

But I can’t say I agree

You’re gone too far

And I’m still here, still breathing

I don’t curse heaven, I don’t curse fate

But I hate the silence you left in this place

If love is the answer they’re preaching to me

Then tell me why you’re not here with me

(You’re not here with me)

Bridge

If heaven needed you more than I did

Why does it feel like I’m the one paying for it?

I still talk to you when I’m alone

Like you might hear me somehow

I don’t want strength

I don’t want signs

I just want one more ordinary night

Final Chorus

I don’t have a reason to be angry at God

But I can’t lie and say I’m okay

You’re gone too far

And I’m still here learning how to stay

I don’t curse heaven, I don’t curse fate

But I hate the silence you left in this place

If love is the answer they’re preaching to me

Then tell me why you’re not here with me

(You’re not here with me)

Outro

The world keeps moving

But I don’t know how

I say your name

And no one answers now

I don’t need tomorrow

I don’t need to be strong

I just need you

Not to be gone

I need you

Not to be

gone