BLAST ZONE*

(Verse 1)

Woke up feelin’ funky, stomach rumblin’ like a drum,

Thought it was the tacos, but man, this ain’t just numb.

Skankin’ to the bathroom, boots slappin’ on the floor,

I barely hit the handle when I BLEW OFF THE DOOR!

(Pre-Chorus)

My guts are bubbling like a science fair,

Sweat drippin’, knees shakin’, panic in the air—

The band keeps playin’ but I’m losin’ control,

This toilet’s about to pay the ultimate toll—

(Chorus)

💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!

Everybody back it up, this is a FEMA blitz!

Horns blarin’, chaos in the stall,

When my bowels drop the beat, it’s a brown waterfall!

💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!

Crowd parts faster than a ska two-step split!

Call the plumber, call the mayor, call the hazmat team,

’Cause my butt just declared a state of emergency!

(Verse 2)

Tried to play it cool, but the pressure hit again,

Clenched so hard I saw the face of God, amen.

The drummer heard the blast from fifty yards away,

He said “That wasn’t the snare, bro — you okay?!”

(Bridge – Ska Horn Break)

BRRAAAP-BRRAAAP!

(That wasn’t the trumpet!)

SKA-SKA-SKA!

(That’s my stomach grumpin’!)

Poom-pa-pa! Poom-pa-pa!

Someone get me some Pepto —

I’m about to erupt-o!

(Chorus)

💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!

Everybody run for your life, mamma mia!

This ain’t a mosh pit, this is DEFCON 3,

There’s a splash zone radius — DON’T STAND BY ME!

💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!

If poop was a weapon, I’d be North Korea.

Lock the doors, turn off the lights,

My stomach just started a bar fight!

(Outro)

So if you hear me groan, don’t ask what’s wrong,

Just clear the room real fast — this ain’t a short song.

My bowels got rhythm and they’re keepin’ time,

’Cause my butt drops bombs like a punk rock rhyme!