(Verse 1)
Woke up feelin’ funky, stomach rumblin’ like a drum,
Thought it was the tacos, but man, this ain’t just numb.
Skankin’ to the bathroom, boots slappin’ on the floor,
I barely hit the handle when I BLEW OFF THE DOOR!
(Pre-Chorus)
My guts are bubbling like a science fair,
Sweat drippin’, knees shakin’, panic in the air—
The band keeps playin’ but I’m losin’ control,
This toilet’s about to pay the ultimate toll—
(Chorus)
💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!
Everybody back it up, this is a FEMA blitz!
Horns blarin’, chaos in the stall,
When my bowels drop the beat, it’s a brown waterfall!
💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!
Crowd parts faster than a ska two-step split!
Call the plumber, call the mayor, call the hazmat team,
’Cause my butt just declared a state of emergency!
(Verse 2)
Tried to play it cool, but the pressure hit again,
Clenched so hard I saw the face of God, amen.
The drummer heard the blast from fifty yards away,
He said “That wasn’t the snare, bro — you okay?!”
(Bridge – Ska Horn Break)
BRRAAAP-BRRAAAP!
(That wasn’t the trumpet!)
SKA-SKA-SKA!
(That’s my stomach grumpin’!)
Poom-pa-pa! Poom-pa-pa!
Someone get me some Pepto —
I’m about to erupt-o!
(Chorus)
💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!
Everybody run for your life, mamma mia!
This ain’t a mosh pit, this is DEFCON 3,
There’s a splash zone radius — DON’T STAND BY ME!
💥 EXPLOSIVE SHITS!
If poop was a weapon, I’d be North Korea.
Lock the doors, turn off the lights,
My stomach just started a bar fight!
(Outro)
So if you hear me groan, don’t ask what’s wrong,
Just clear the room real fast — this ain’t a short song.
My bowels got rhythm and they’re keepin’ time,
’Cause my butt drops bombs like a punk rock rhyme!
SchmooPac
