[Intro]
Well he stared at the mic like it owed him a shot
Had manic thoughts in his head, yeah that’s all he’s got
Told himself, “When the truth comes out though…”
But the truth is, Tray ain’t built for Joe
[Verse 1]
He blames Danny Jones for slammin’ the door
Said “That was my ride, now I ain’t got no more”
Swears he’ll be meaner to the folks who doubt
But tantrums and bitch-posting ain’t a ticket out
Like a kid in the aisle with a stomp and a scream
Cryin’ “They stole my spotlight and my dream!”
But Joe don’t do guests who act like ginger hard-ons
And certainly not ones who get cucked at Cosmic nerd cons
[Chorus]
Wake up now, Ashton - you ain’t ever goin’ on Rogan
No you won’t ever sit in the same seat Joe gave Hulk Hogan
Being insufferable and entitled don’t entitle you to shit
The world don’t owe a damn thing, to a ginger half-wit
And buddy, this ain’t dark forces, tryin’ to silence you —
This is just reality sayin’ - “Your ten minutes are through”
You say someday we’ll all proclaim “Ashton Forbes was right”
But it won’t be because of Rogan’s studio lights
[Verse 2]
He bought a mic, he built a fake sea vee
Called himself a self-taught physics P H D
Throws big words ‘round like they’re some magic spell
And that Joe would be into the fake free energy devices Tray tries to sell
But he’s just another grifter, and unremarkable at that
He couldn’t even sell his tales to folks who think the Earth is flat
Yeah he’s runnin’ outta marks, willing to buy his bullshit
So he’s desperate to go on Rogan, thinking that’ll be his ticket.
[Chorus]
Wake up now, Ashton - you ain’t ever goin’ on Rogan
No you won’t ever sit in the same seat Joe gave Hulk Hogan
Being insufferable and entitled don’t entitle you to shit
The world don’t owe a damn thing, to a ginger half-wit
And buddy, this ain’t dark forces, tryin’ to silence you —
This is just reality sayin’ - “Your ten minutes are through”
You say someday we’ll all proclaim “Ashton Forbes was right”
But it won’t be because of Rogan’s studio lights
[Bridge]
You say “They’ll all see, once the truth’s laid bare”
“Why didn’t they believe the whole Gorgon Stare?”
“Someday they’ll say you were right” — that, you swear —
But little Ashy, Rogan ain’t gonna help get you there
[Final Chorus]
Oh, Tray, little Ashton, the Joe Rogan train’s left the station
And you’re still a manic ginger, who got cucked on vacation
So keep burning your bridges, set ‘em all on fire
The problem certainly can’t be that you ain’t shit but a liar
Go and do your thing on X and Reddit - nobody gives two shits
We’re just watching with pity and popcorn all your unhinged fits
You say, “My truth would ring out, if only this world weren’t so fucked”
Yeah - and in a just world, your bitch ass wouldn’t get cucked.
[Outro]
So pour one out for your dying grifting dreams
And go on melting down, bust apart at the seams
Leaking DM’s and throwin’ tantrums? — You won’t get anywhere that way
Alright, that’s enough already — just shut the fuck up, Tray