Smelly thang

She walked in the room with a wink and a sway,

Said “Boy, you look hungry — wanna eat today?”

I said “Sure, what you got?” with a naughty grin,

She said “I got a pie, but it’s been sittin’ in the bin…”

That smelly thang, Lord it stank!

I took one whiff, nearly broke the fish tank.

It hit my nose like a skunk in heat,

Smelled like death in a dirty old beat.

She said “Boy, don’t judge, this here’s gourmet,”

But it smelled like tuna that went astray.

I tried to fake a smile, said “Mmm, that’s nice…”

But my eyebrows ran and my soul left twice.

That smelly thang, oh my God!

Had a puff of smoke and a greenish fog.

It barked at me, I swear it did,

Like it ate a corpse and raised a squid.

She said “Boy, don’t you talk that mess—

My ex said it was the best in the West!”

I said “Well bless his soul and rest his brain,

‘Cause he must’ve died from that choo-choo train!”

Now I ain’t rude and I ain’t crass,

But her kitty-cat tried to whoop my ass.

It clawed my face, it hissed real mean,

It even tried to steal my Listerine.

That smelly thang, Lord have mercy,

Smelled like feet, bad milk, and jerky.

I ran for the hills, gasped for air,

That funky funk still haunts my hair!

So if she say "Come get a taste,"

Sniff the air, boy, don’t move in haste.

'Cause some love stinks, and some love bites,

But some love’ll leave your nostrils in fights.

Beware the smelly thang…