Fat girls and Beer

Well I woke up late with a Cheeto on my chest,

Last night’s mistakes still smellin’ on my vest.

There’s a dent in the fridge where I kicked it in rage,

‘Cause my last two beers ran off with a girl named Paige.

She was big, she was bold, wore them Daisy Dukes tight,

Broke my foldin’ chair, but she rocked me all night.

We was dancin’ in the barn like it’s Waffle House pride,

She said, “You got Bud Light?” I said, “Hop in and ride!”

(Duet male and female chorus)

Fat bitches and beer, that’s my kinda heaven,

Mud tires spinnin’ in a Ford F-7.

Life’s too short for kale and fear,

So give me fat bitches and an ice-cold beer! 🎵

Got a cooler in the back and a boombox playin’,

All my cousins showin’ up and my ex-wife prayin’.

She said, “You’ll die young!” — I said, “Look at me thrive!”

A six-pack a day keeps the heartbreak alive!

Snapbacks, flab stacks, belly button rings,

She got a tramp stamp of a chicken eatin’ wings.

We don’t judge — we just chug,

And dance in the grass till we fall in the mud.

(Duet male and female chorus)

Fat bitches and beer, let the good times roll,

Got a keg in the truck and a deep-fried soul.

If love is blind, then I see real clear —

I want fat bitches and a case of beer!

Now if you ain’t never slow danced with a queen size dream,

While she ate hot wings and screamed for ice cream…

Then boy, you missin’ what life’s all about —

It ain’t the size of the girl, it’s the size of her shout!

(Duet male and female chorus)

Fat bitches and beer, that’s a Saturday night,

With a grill full of ribs and a bug-zapper light.

So crack one open, bring that booty near —

Here’s to fat bitches and an ocean of beer!