I show up late with a biscuit in hand
Steel-toe boots full of concrete and sand
Boss man’s already givin’ me the stink eye
Says, “Don’t touch that loader, you’ll flip it and die”
He gave me a shovel and a busted broom
Said, “Sweep the dirt — but not too soon.”
I’m just a peon from 9 until 5
My boss don’t trust me not even to drive
Won’t let me near the backhoe or crane
Says I’ll end up diggin’ my own dang grave
I hold the sign that says “Slow” and “Stop”
Sometimes he forgets I’m out there on the job
I’m just a peon, low man on site
Still tryin’ to figure out my left from right
I once poured concrete and forgot the rebar
Now that slab’s softer than a chocolate bar
Tried to run the skid steer — took out the fence
Boss said, “You’re banned from anything with a seat or vents”
They got me fetchin’ nails and chasin’ dogs
And fishin’ lunch outta muddy bogs
Yeah, I’m just a peon from 9 to 5
Hard hat's crooked but I’m still alive
Can't read blueprints but I fake it well
Dropped a hammer off the roof (shh, don’t tell)
He don’t let me measure, says I “eyeball wrong”
Only thing I’m trusted with is singin’ this song
I’m just a peon, swingin’ that broom
Dodgin’ porta-johns and near certain doom
They say, “Every man’s got a place on the crew”
Well mine’s behind a caution cone covered in glue
They don’t call me “foreman” — more like “fore-mistake”
Even the outhouse got promoted for goodness sake!
Yeah, I’m just a peon from 9 to 5
Carried sheetrock through a beehive
Stepped on a nail, boss said, “You’re fine”
Just duct tape it up and get back in line
I ain't got skill, but I bring the charm
And a lunchbox full of nothin’ but Pop-Tarts and harm
So here’s to the fellas who just survive
Makin’ sawdust dreams and lunch break lives
I’m just a peon, can’t use a jack
But I’m the first one here… when the boss ain’t back