“Get the Job Done”
By: The Survivors of Square Cow
(Genre: Country-rock epic meets storm-chasin’ satire — think Jason Aldean meets “Twister” with a dispatch app)
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[Verse 1 – Joe (already in survival mode)]
Wind pickin’ up, sky turnin’ green,
Boxes flyin’ like a nightmare scene.
Truck rockin’ hard, thunder on cue,
Kurt shows up smilin’ like, “Where’s the crew?”
Dillon’s missin’, got sucked in the sky,
We point straight up — he says “That guy’ll be fine.”
Paul’s hangin’ from a power line pole,
But Kurt says “Load that sofa, that’s your role.”
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[Chorus – All (furious and terrified)]
“Get the job done!” Kurt screams in the wind,
While bodies fly past and the roof caves in!
Lightning hits the dolly, the ramp’s on fire—
But he said, “No breaks ‘til we wrap that dryer!”
Tornado’s here, and we beg for grace—
But Kurt just yells, “Shrink wrap that vase!”
Death’s outside, but we still liftin’—
‘Cause Kurt says, “Cow strong, no quittin’!”
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[Verse 2 – Brandon (clutchin’ straps and prayin’)]
Conner got launched with the wardrobe box,
Still holdin’ tools while he circled the flocks.
Kurt marked him “late” in the Square Cow app,
Said “He didn’t finish—no excuse for that.”
We down to three men, the wind took four,
But Kurt said “Teamwork means you give more.”
I’m bleedin’ from debris, eye full of dirt,
He hands me a dolly like, “Put in that work.”
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[Chorus – All (angrier, louder, full rebellion vibes)]
“Get the job done!” while the world falls apart,
We dodgin’ cows flyin’ outta K-Mart!
Kurt got a checklist, dry and bold—
While tornado sirens out here takin’ souls!
You want safe? You want sane? Not with Kurt—
He said, “Clock back in or I’ll dock your shirt!”
This job ain’t work, it’s war with tape—
And he still yellin’, “No lunch break!”
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[Bridge – Paul (yellin’ from a tree branch)]
Y’all ever load a dresser while screamin’ for God?
While Kurt stands dry with a nod-nod nod?
No shelter, no plan, just blind command—
“Finish the job or I’ll find a new man!”
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[Verse 3 – Joe (quiet and broken)]
We lost half the team to the sky today,
But the tip was solid so we couldn’t stray.
And Kurt? That man just watched with pride—
“Y’all legends,” he texted as more folks died.
Now it’s just me, a lamp, and hell,
Thunder boomin’ like Satan’s bell.
But the truck’s half full and I hear that tone—
Kurt sayin’, “Wrap tight, then get back home.”
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[Final Chorus – All (ghostly voices in the wind)]
Get the job done, don’t ask why—
Even when the sky tries to make you die!
Kurt’s still watchin’ from behind the glass,
Clipboard raised, no fear, no ass!
If the world ends, we’ll pack it neat—
‘Cause Kurt wants clean pads on Judgment Street.
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[Outro – Joe (radio static, final breath)]
If this message makes it to dispatch…
Tell ‘em:
We finished the job.
But the job… finished us.
Joe (quiet and broken)]
We lost half the team to the sky today,
But the tip was solid so we couldn’t stray.
And Kurt? That man just watched with pride—
“Y’all legends,” he texted as more folks died.
[Verse 4 – Ethan (holding on to the truck mirror)]
I was halfway gone, holdin’ tight to the rig,
Roof flew off and took my wig.
I yelled, “Kurt, it’s OVER, the sky ain’t right!”
He said, “Shut up and finish the night.”
Lightning hit the dolly, exploded the pad,
Client still askin’ “Where’s my TV, Chad?”
I’m cryin’, I’m limpin’, my soul’s on E,
But Kurt just screamed, “That’s leadership to me!”