You Might Be A Narcissist

“You Might Be a Narcissist (But I Ain’t Sayin’ You Are… Except I Am)”

By: Dillon (feat. Joe’s Ego)

(Genre: Comedy Country with bruised straps and workplace judgment)

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You bragged about finishin’ a two-man load,

Like you solo’d Mount Everest in truck mode.

Made a whole speech when you stacked one bin,

Then posed like a hero with your Dolly grin.

You said, “No one wrap pads like me,”

Then spent 10 minutes takin’ selfies, G.

Wrote “Crew MVP” on your gloves with chalk,

Then told dispatch you “lead through walk and talk.”

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You might be a narcissist, just sayin’—

Takin’ every move like you Tom Brady playin’.

Ain’t sayin’ you’re toxic, but damn it’s rough—

Every morning meetin’ is your highlight puff.

You might be a narcissist, that’s no cap,

Wrote your own name on the crew group map.

And I’ll bring it up daily till you chill that tone—

‘Cause we all work hard, not just you alone.

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You say, “Let me do it,” then flex that chest,

Like we ain’t trained and you’re the best.

You’ll snatch a dolly just to show you fast,

Then humblebrag for a solid hour and a half.

You said, “My wrap job saved that couch,”

Bro, we all saw you almost drop it down south.

You framed your vest like it’s Hall of Fame,

And signed a fridge like it knew your name.

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You told a new guy, “I’m the gold standard here,”

While he was just tryin’ to shift a mirror.

You speak in stats like a human Yelp,

But every move ain’t a one-man self-help.

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You might be a narcissist, and that’s okay…

But I ain’t bowin’ to your resume.

You talk like you train Olympic lifts,

But you cried when we moved that armoire stiff.

So till you wrap and ride with a lil more grace—

I’ma bring this up in every workplace space.