“Ops Manager Graveyard”
By: The Crew (sick of watchin’ ‘em drop)
Genre: Southern Rock / Country Comedy**
Vibe: Sarcastic, stompin’, and savagely real
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[Verse 1 – Joe (grinning)]
First there was Mark, man high as a kite,
Pop a molly at lunch, couldn’t write shit right.
Truck keys in the fridge, clipboard in a tree,
Kurt said, “He’s got potential,” we said, “Bro, please.”
Then came Seth, pullin’ up in shame,
Had a DUI before he even knew our name.
Didn’t tell a soul, kept smilin’ wide,
Till HR called and the truth got fried.
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[Chorus – All (rowdy)]
Another one bites, another one gone,
Kurt’s pickin’ ops like he’s spinnin’ a bong.
They fall like flies while we haul that load,
He’s the reaper in khakis down at Cow Road.
It’s the Ops Manager Graveyard, bodies in a stack—
And Conner’s the latest, stabbed right in the back.
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[Verse 2 – Brandon (mock-serious)]
Allen got bumped up straight outta H-Town,
Two months on the truck, now he’s runnin’ the crown?
Didn’t know shit, but he dressed real neat,
Had “management vibes” and boots too clean.
Then Dillon stepped up, gave it all he had,
Came back from surgery, still chasin’ that badge.
They gave him a desk, then snatched it away,
“Too many mistakes,” they forgot he saved the day.
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[Verse 3 – Paul (gruff and pissed)]
Conner was the final straw, no plan, no route,
Lost two trucks and couldn’t figure it out.
Kurt kept sayin’, “He’s learnin’, he’s fine,”
While the jobs fell apart on overtime.
Took all his duties, gave ‘em back to himself,
Now the branch run by fear and an empty shelf.
Conner’s in the breakroom, starin’ through the floor,
Kurt’s latest kill — add one more.
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[Verse 4 – Dillon (low and ominous)]
Now Fernando’s steppin’ up, tryna play it cool,
But Kurt’s just smilin’ like, “I love fresh fuel.”
Ain’t touched the dispatch, ain’t booked no route,
But he’s next in line — there’s no doubt.
Kurt’s whisperin’ fake praise, layin’ the trap,
Tellin’ him, “You’re different,” while closin’ the gap.
He’ll be gone by fall, that’s a solid bet,
And the clipboard claims another silhouette.
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[Final Chorus – All (shouting like it’s the end of the world)]
It’s the Ops Manager Graveyard, names carved deep,
They climb to the top, then get buried cheap.
From Mark to Conner, we’ve watched ‘em drop,
Now Fernando’s next for the slaughter shop.
So grab a shovel, and dig you a plot—
You’re next if you think that title means a lot.
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[Outro – Joe (laughing nervously)]
Fernando blink twice if you in danger, bro.
Kurt just asked if you “like being a leader”…
Run.
KennyT69
