Are Those Natural

(Verse 1)
I met her one night down at Grumpy’s bar
She was singin’ in the band and playin’ guitar
I told her I’d like to get in them jeans
She smiled and said, “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”
I smiled back, said, “Let's go to my house
I got somethin’ I’d like to put in your mouth”

(Pre-Chorus)
No time wasted when we walked in the door
No doubt in my mind she’d done this before
She took off her shirt and said with a smile
“I haven’t shown these off in a while”

(Chorus)
She had three boobs right there on her chest
I tried not to look, I was doin’ my best
But never once have I seen such a thing
I had to reach in my pants and hold down my ding-a-ling
I said, “Are those natural, were you born that way?”
She said, “Yes they are, now c’mon… let’s play”

(Verse 2)
I blinked twice thinkin’ I’d lost my mind
Checked my drink, made sure I was fine
Neon lights buzzin’, walls leanin’ in
This town’s full of trouble and I fell right in
She laughed and said, “Boy, don’t be shy”
“Life’s more fun when you don’t ask why”

(Pre-Chorus)
She said, “Everybody’s got somethin’ strange
Some folks hide it, some folks don’t change”
She grabbed my hand, pulled me in close
Said, “Relax, honey, enjoy the show”

(Chorus)
She had three boobs right there on her chest
I tried not to look, I was doin’ my best
But never once have I seen such a thing
I had to reach in my pants and hold down my ding-a-ling
I said, “Are those natural, were you born that way?”
She said, “Yes they are, now c’mon… let’s play”

(Bridge)
I’ve seen ghosts, I’ve seen UFOs
Heard barroom lies that nobody knows
But I swear on my truck and my last paycheck
This is hands-down the weirdest thing you’ve heard yet
So if you don’t believe a word I say
Buy me a beer and I’ll show you the place

(Final Chorus)
She had three boobs right there on her chest
I quit pretendin’ I was doin’ my best
Some stories sound crazy, some sound insane
But this one’s been burnin’ holes in my brain
So if you think I’m lyin’, that’s okay
But I still smile every time I hear her play

(Outro)
Now every time I pass that bar downtown
I hear that guitar and that small-town sound
Friends ask me why I just smile with glee
Say, “Man, you wouldn’t believe what I got to see”
So here’s my advice if you’re drinkin’ late
If it feels right, don't hesitate

Up-tempo country rock comedy, male vocal, barroom storytelling, twangy guitar, big catchy chorus, playful swagger