Who Else But Me?

(Yeah… mm-hmm)

Well I swore I’d learned my lesson… guess we’ll see

Mama said “Boy don’t touch that stove”

I touched it twice just to be sure though

Borrowed Dad’s truck, brought it back late

With a dent that looked like “oops” and fate

My brother said “Don’t text that girl”

I hit send and rocked my world

Now my phone’s blowin’ up like TNT

Who started that? Yeah… me

I don’t mean no harm, I just can’t see

The line ‘til I cross it accidentally

Who else but me? (who else?)

Gets it wrong so perfectly

Trip, fall, laugh, repeat

That’s my recipe

Who else but me? (oh no)

Turns a spark to a third-degree

If bad luck’s got VIP seats

It’s savin’ one for me

Took a first date fishin’ by the lake

Dropped the ring… yeah, my mistake

Not hers—no, I jumped too fast

Now I’m swimmin’ after “almost last”

My buddy said “Man, don’t bet that game”

I doubled down, lost more than change

Now I owe him lunch for eternity

Ain’t that just like… me

Good ideas wave, I wave back slow

Bad ones say “Hey”—I say “let’s go”

Who else but me? (who else?)

Gets it wrong so naturally

Left, right, wrong street

Story of my week

Who else but me? (good grief)

Makes a mess so flawlessly

If there’s a wrong door with a key

It’s made for me

(Yeah yeah)

I try to change, I really do

Next thing I know—déjà vu

But hey, at least I keep it fun

A trainwreck ridin’ in the sun

(Oh no… not again)

(Wait… yep, again)

Who else but me? (who else?)

Turns “just one” to “two or three”

Laugh it off eventually

That’s my therapy

Who else but me? (alright)

Still believes in “maybe”

If it’s dumb but feels carefree

Sign me up—it’s me

So if you’re lookin’ for a cautionary

Tale wrapped up in comedy

Just pull up a chair, watch and see…

Who else but me? (yeah… who else?)