Shadows In My Code

Yeah

Late ride

Mmm

I’ve been talkin’ to my shadows more than anyone I know

Turn my feelings to a waveform, let the 808s explode

If you see me when I’m smilin’, that’s a glitch inside my code

’Cause my heart be goin’ silent where the hurt don’t ever show

You say I never really let you in

I say I’m scared you’ll see the mess I’m in

Every “how you doin’?” feel like small talk on a cliff edge

You just want the truth, I keep handin’ you the cliff notes instead

Trauma in my carry-on, I bring it every trip

You ask me for forever, I just tighten up my grip

On all the times that “stay” turned to “sorry, I can’t stay”

On all the nights I bled alone and wiped it all away

You call it overthinking, I call it bein’ trained

To hear “I’ll never leave” and start lookin’ for the pain

If I fade into the background, it ain’t you that made me ghost

It’s just distance is the only kind of safety I know

I’ve been talkin’ to my shadows more than anyone I know

Turn my feelings to a waveform, let the 808s explode

If you see me when I’m smilin’, that’s a glitch inside my code

’Cause my heart be goin’ silent where the hurt don’t ever show

I’ve been ridin’ through the city with my demons in the back

Got my foot up on the gas, but they still all on my lap

Every love I ever had turned to lyrics that I rap

Every promise that I heard turned to knives behind my back

Sippin’ just to blur the edges, I don’t like the way it’s sharp

Every memory of you is like a tattoo on my heart

If I text you when I’m up, I might tell you too much truth

If I hit you when I’m down, I might bleed it all on you

So I keep it in a voice note I ain’t never gon’ send

All these verses like confessions that I whisper to the wind

You the one that see the storm whenever I say “I’m fine”

If I lose me in the chaos, will you help me find my mind?

If I go quiet, I’m still feelin’ every word you say

If I fall off, it don’t mean I wanna walk away

I just learned to love from people who ain’t know the way

I’ve been tryna unlearn hurt like it’s all I ever craved

If we meet inside the wreckage where our old selves used to be

Maybe broken plus broken still add up to somethin’ we need

I’ve been talkin’ to my shadows more than anyone I know

Turn my feelings to a waveform, let the 808s explode

If you see me when I’m smilin’, that’s a glitch inside my code

’Cause my heart be goin’ silent where the hurt don’t ever sho