Me, These Drugs, and the Ghost of You

[Intro]
Yeah
Mm
Numb, numb

[Hook]
I’ve been mixing all my feelings with these drugs again
Heartbreak in my cup, let it flood again
Told myself I’d quit, then your name pops in
So I’m pouring up the pain just to feel something
Every line that I crush is a memory of you
Every puff that I take is a “we still cool?”
I know it’s killing me but I still come through
‘Cause being sober with this hurt feel worse than what I do

[Verse 1]
Pop one, hope it knock the pain out quick
Pop two, now I’m scrolling through our pics
Pop three, now the room start to drift
Can’t tell if it’s the high or the loss that hit
Lean in the Sprite turn my heart all purple
Trace our names like I’m stuck in a circle
Friends say chill, “you’ve been moving too hurtful”
But they ain’t feel the way your leaving turned me dirt, though
I don’t even like who I am off go
Off the pills I forget what I can’t outgrow
Laughing at texts that I wish you wrote
Then I wake up sick with a burnt-out throat
Throw up in the sink, wash down my sins
Say “never again” then I’m back by 10
Plug know my name like my only friend
He just count his cash while I fall again

[Verse 2]
Late night drive and I’m swerving off course
Got your voice in my head like a sad last chorus
You said “If you love me, you’ll take care of you”
Now I chase any high just to hide that truth
Mix my regrets with the smoke I blow
Tryna cover up the parts you’ll never know
Every pill on my tongue like a fake “I’m fine”
Every shot to the face just to blur the line
Group chat lit, but my soul offline
They don’t see me when I’m curled on the bathroom tile
Hugging on the floor like it’s holding me down
While I drown in a silence that’s still too loud
If I make it through the night, I just say “one more”
If I don’t, then I guess I was keeping score
Either way, I ain’t really even living no more
Just a heart in a body running back to the store

[Bridge]
I know these drugs don’t love me back
I know this high just fade to black
But when your ghost come creeping back
I still reach for another pack

[Hook]
I’ve been mixing all my feelings with these drugs again
Heartbreak in my cup, let it flood again
Told myself I’d quit, then your name pops in
So I’m pouring up the pain just to feel something
Every line that I crush is a memory of you
Every puff that I take is a “we still cool?”
I know it’s killing me but I still come through
‘Cause being sober with this hurt feel worse than what I do

[Outro]
If I wake up, I’ll pretend I’m clean
If I don’t, you were just a dream
Either way, when the night runs through
It’s me, these drugs, and the ghost of you

Dark F# minor emo trap at 162 BPM, airy pads, hazy keys, deep 808s, late-night heartbreak and numb escape vibe