[Verse 1]
You came in on a Sunday
Laughing in my mother’s kitchen
Carrying those easy stories
Like you’d always lived here with us
You remember what I’m saying
Better than I do sometimes
And every room you walk into
My name feels smaller in my mind
[Chorus]
Is it envy
Is it jealousy
Is it something ugly growing under my skin
I can’t say it
I can’t say it
So I smile and let you in
Is it fear that you’ll replace me
Or a wound I never learned to explain
All I know is I feel something
Every time I hear your name
[Verse 2]
You stay late after dinner
Helping her wash every dish
You know her favorite movies
On a list I thought was mine
I hate the way I’m counting
Every time she says your joke
How she leans a little toward you
Like the chair was always yours
[Chorus]
Is it envy
Is it jealousy
Is it something bitter caught in my throat
I can’t say it
I can’t say it
So I laugh like it’s a joke
Is it fear that you’ll erase me
Or a shadow I’ve been trying to outrun
All I know is I feel something
Every time our worlds are one
[Bridge]
I don’t want to be unkind (I swear)
I don’t want to shut you out (I care)
But when you fit so perfect
Where I used to stand
If I say it out loud
Will it tear this house in two
So I press my nails into my palm
And just say
“Nice to see you”
[Chorus]
Is it envy
Is it jealousy
Or a child inside who’s still scared to lose
I can’t say it
I can’t say it
So I give you all my good news
Is it fear that you’ll replace me
Or a mirror that I’m too afraid to face
All I know is I feel something
Every time you take that place
[Outro]
You ask
“Are you okay?”
I say
“Yeah
I’m fine
” then look away
Maybe one day I’ll name this ache
Until then
I just can’t say