Emotional feelings

I know that mental health is not good and I try be happy but can't feel like I can't breathe though to take deep breath I have been through a got over years lot people have died in my family I have been stuffing with anxiety and depression since high school .Because I got bullied all the way through high schoooool I feel like crying every single day and night but I am trying to stay strong .I know that my mental health is not good but keep on keep on fighting and fighting but it really hard when you want to kill myself but I that is not a good choice to do I but know that my mental health mental health is bad. And I can't stop the emotions and the overthinking going through my head I know that I have to stay calm and take a deep breath I know my mental health is not good is not good my mental health is getting out of control my mental health my mental health .