Fade

I want to crawl out of my own skin

peel it back like wet clothes after rain

but it won’t come off

it just clings tighter

after every episode

the screaming stays inside the bones

I can't say it's anything I would of chose

But what's the use in talking to you

All I'm doing is making up excuses

To be fucking miserable, only language I'm fluent in

You said what's the use, why bother to tune in

Whats the use, I'm already ruined

I can’t get away from myself, or I would

no door far enough

no road long enough

so I do the only thing left, the rest drift away

I can't follow, damn it's crazy, what a mess I make

So I watch as they all go, without me,

No I don't follow

I fade

I sink back into the dark behind my eyes

that’s the only place the world can stand me

because out here I’m too loud,

For so small, I'm loud though

too sharp to swallow

Can't turn down, I'm just

too much, too far to go

the volume’s broken, oh wow

stuck screaming

Can't figure out how to turn it down

so I lock myself deep in my head

sit on the floor with my doubts

let them talk shit

l so small, I'

let them swing

I just take it

I stick it out

until they finally beat me flat

They tell me I'm worthless

I believe it

then I crawl back up

out of the hole

face smeared

eyes red

looking like a fucking clown

and everybody sees it

I’m at my worst

and it shows

every single day

I still can’t figure out the highs and the lows

they come when they want

leave when they want

I’m just the ride they’re on

Nothing I would of chose

so when it gets too loud again

I fade

I fade

I fade

back into the only place

that’s ever been safe