Boom-chicka-boom, boom-chicka-boom
I left Wanda at the slots… and I might’ve pawned her crown.
(doo-doo-doo!)
⸻
[Verse 1]
I’m Cosmo, baby, green-haired clown,
Rockin’ Vegas like a broke Flintstone in town.
Got kicked outta Circus Circus ‘cause I thought it was a zoo,
Fed the tigers Red Bull, now they’re suing me too.
⸻
[Chorus – big layered harmonies]
🎶 What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,
Unless Vicky films it for pay-per-view! 🎶
I’m makin’ bad choices with the Powerpuff voices,
And Courage the Cowardly Dog’s doin’ shots ‘til he pukes on my shoes!
⸻
[Verse 2]
Johnny Bravo’s flexin’ in the bathroom mirror,
Told me “hey pretty mama”—but he hit on the dealer.
Ed, Edd, and Eddy sold me fake chips out back,
I tried to cash ‘em in, they just said “scam attack!”
⸻
[Bridge – rapid fire Cosmo babble]
I married a slot machine—
(divorce in 10 minutes flat!)
Lost my wand at a strip club—
(now the strippers can grant wishes, how ‘bout that?)
Scooby and Shaggy bet it all on snacks,
Now Velma’s pole-dancing just to get their cash back!
⸻
[Breakdown – nonsense harmony stack, Cosmo style]
Shoo-bee-doo, wop-bam-boom!
I’m the dumbest fairy in the neon gloom!
Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, ka-ching!
Timmy’s at home, but I’m losing my wings!
⸻
[Chorus – louder, sillier]
🎶 What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,
Unless Dexter livestreams the crime! 🎶
I’m drunk on daiquiris, forgot my ovaries—
Wait, do fairies have those? (…Wanda said not this time.)
⸻
[Outro – soft but chaotic]
I’ll wake up tomorrow in SpongeBob’s pants,
No idea how… but I lost my stance.
If Wanda asks, just tell her quick:
“Cosmo went to Vegas… and got real sick.”
doo-wop-doo… cha-ching!
Classy
