[Verse]
I never met Hanna, never wanted to.
Still somehow I got the full damn tour.
Every chapter, every fight,
Every reason she slammed the door.
You talked like I was supposed to care,
Like I was keeping score.
Buddy, I signed up to date you…
Not hear her memoir anymore.
[Pre-Chorus]
Every story had a villain.
Every story made you right.
Somehow every conversation
Turned into Hanna Night.
[Chorus]
Fuck Hanna… respectfully.
Mostly I just wanted peace.
I don’t need another bedtime story
‘Bout your ex’s history.
I don’t care who hurt who first.
I don’t care who made who cry.
All I know is every time you started…
I just wanted to change the station.
[Verse]
I heard about the fights.
I heard about the tears.
Heard every intimate detail
For what felt like forty years.
Every reason things went sideways,
Every excuse lined up in rows.
But here’s the thing that never landed—
That doesn’t erase the choices that you chose.
[Pre-Chorus]
Pain explains a lot of things.
It doesn’t make them right.
You don’t get a free pass forever
Just because your past was hard.
[Bridge] (everything drops except bass and claps)
At some point I realized…
This wasn’t even about Hanna.
She just lived in every room
Because you never moved out of the conversation.
[Final Chorus]
Fuck Hanna… not because of her.
Because somehow she never left.
She’d show up in every argument
Like an unpaid houseguest.
I wish her well. I really do.
I just wish I’d heard less.
’Cause somewhere between your stories…
You forgot to tell your own.
[Outro]
Next relationship… here’s a thought:
Maybe leave the autobiography at home.
It’s a first date… not a book club.
