[Intro]
Oh, he looks so sweet, with his floppy ears and paws,
But I caught him starin’ at me… through the bathroom door crack — pause.
Yeah, he ain’t waggin’ outta love, no, that tail’s got a scheme,
I swear on my last chew toy, my dog’s a creep.
⸻
[Verse 1]
He don’t bark at strangers, no, he just stares,
Til they feel their soul peel back — man, it’s unfair.
He sits in the dark, just watchin’ me sleep,
That ain’t loyalty, no, that’s straight-up freaky deep.
He sniffs too long when I get out the shower,
Won’t break eye contact, holds it like power.
Neighbors say “he’s cute,” but I know the truth —
He’s plottin’ some Silence of the Lambs type moves.
⸻
[Chorus]
My dog’s a creep (yeah, he’s a furry little freak),
Watchin’ from the corner seven days a week.
Got a look in his eyes sayin’, “I know what you did,”
Bro, you’re a golden retriever, not a federal agent, kid!
My dog’s a creep (yeah, he’s watchin’ me pee),
Follows me to bed like a stalker on a spree.
They say man’s best friend, but that’s a steep leap —
I’m startin’ to think my dog’s a creep.
⸻
[Verse 2]
He hides my socks, but not for fun,
He builds a shrine — man, I seen one!
Chew toy, toothbrush, one shoe lace,
He’s makin’ a voodoo doll with my face.
He fake sleeps when I walk in the room,
Like “Oh, hey, didn’t mean to assume.”
Then goes back to watchin’ with his side-eye glare,
Like he’s guardin’ secrets he’ll never share.
⸻
[Bridge]
Yeah, I took him to the vet — they said, “He’s fine,”
But I saw him wink at the nurse… crossed a line.
Now he’s got his own playlist, “How to Be a Perv,”
Layin’ on his back like he’s got some nerve!
⸻
[Chorus]
My dog’s a creep (yeah, the proof runs deep),
Knows my schedule better than I keep.
Sniffs my laundry like it’s contraband,
If he had thumbs, I’d have filed a restraining plan.
My dog’s a creep (don’t let the cuteness seep),
He’s the reason I don’t sleep too deep.
Oh, Saint Bernard or undercover spy?
I’m watchin’ him now with my third eye.
⸻
[Outro]
So if you see a pupper starin’ too long,
Don’t assume he’s just vibin’ to a love song.
Lock your doors and hide your treats —
Trust me, friend… dogs can be creeps.
