Close to the edge

Why am I always breaking

I’m so close to the edge

Don’t remember getting here

oh I woke up on this ledge and I try to play my part put that smile on my face

Oh by these cracks in my heart are reaching my thoughts these days

Can you explain to me why I feel this way

so damn incomplete what’s left for me

And I know there’s so much I could be doing so much more for me

I know I could try harder but it feels to out of reach

Slippin I’m slidin here we go

Goin down another rabbit hole

Another pocket in my mind

one that’s never seen the light

But keep your face in check

Cause they don’t gotta know what’s in my head

Heart on a rope

I better tie it up before someone gets a good look at it

Hiding underneath anything I can reach

I don’t think anyone notices but my hearts been sinking how do you know if you depressed or you’ve had enough hearts to tired to love again

I still feel the emotion but the bite isn’t so deep it doesn’t reach as far as it did before

And yes I stay up all night hardly sleep all week then I’ll finally rest and sleep a whole day away still wake up tired just like every day

I wake up but can barely get myself out of bed

And all these thoughts weighing me down inside my head

So many people filter through my life only to leave again tried finding someone who I could love that would want the same but they never stay with me

I should probably try and get a new personality again changed it so many times it’s hard to keep track of which ones I’ve cycled through

I test em and try em hope someone likes them when they don’t I’ll start again

I thought i was done with that part of growing up but I still feel the need to be wanted by someone that I still haven’t found always feel like I’m the reason yet I still haven’t found a single version they’re willing to love

I’ve spent my entire childhood changing for people looking for someone who’d take me

Finally told myself I was done changing for everyone else but then I realized I don’t have enough left to change for myself

These cracks in my heart they’re inside my head all these dark lonely thoughts I prayed I’d put to rest and I’m still standing on the ledge looking down feels like I’m close to the end

Some days I can barely breath at all

Oh please I want to reach for the heavens but the shine of the stars reminds me of back then so I let myself fall again

Everyone I find to love I see myself pulling back been hurt enough so now im the first one to take a step back won’t even think about it my mind just starts to disconnect us in my head

Slippin slidin here we go

Goin down another rabbit hole

Another pocket in my mind

one that’s never seen the light

But keep your face in check

Cause they don’t gotta know what’s in my head

Heart on a rope

Please don’t let in the cold

Yes I still feel alone so find me something to hold

But it’s okay I’ll be fine take one day at a time