【🎤 Verse 1】
Lit a firecracker in a dam Solo cup,
Yelled “YEEHAW” and blew his porch the f*ck up.
Said “Don’t worry bro, I watched a YouTube vid,”
Now he’s missing a thumb and a chunk of his lid.
Shoved a roman candle down his swim trunks,
Now his meat’s medium rare with a side of “YUP.”
Sparks in his Crocs, beer in his gut,
He’s America’s mascot — and a certified nut.
【🔥 Chorus – yell chant with whistles and fireworks】
🎇 Boom boom bye bye, dumbass town!
You lit it in your mouth, now you're goin’ down.
🎆 Boom boom oh no, hold my beer,
You just burned off your nipple pierce, my dear.
🔥 Boom boom holy sh*t, not the grill!
You set the burgers and the cat on kill.
🎇 Boom boom back up, this ain’t no joke,
You’re five beers deep and covered in smoke.
【🎤 Verse 2】
Chugged Fireball, pissed on a sparkler line,
Now he’s got a mullet and a permanent shine.
She taped M80s to her party hat,
Now her hair’s in orbit and the dog hates that.
Tried to twerk with a bottle rocket wedged in her cheeks,
Made it halfway through “Party in the USA” before the freakin’ thing peaked.
Dude used a roman candle as a selfie stick,
Now he’s the thumbnail for “America’s Sick.”
【🔥 Chorus – louder, unhinged, fireworks in beat】
🎇 Boom boom bye bye, you lit your junk!
Now you're cryin’ with ice on your patriotic trunk.
🎆 Boom boom oh f*ck, that’s not a flare!
That’s your uncle’s cigar and your neighbor’s chair.
🔥 Boom boom Jesus, where’s your skin?
You launched a nuke from your uncle’s trash bin.
🎇 Boom boom damn son, that ain’t cool—
You turned the kiddie pool into a fiery duel.
【🎤 PSA Bridge #1 – sarcastic TED Talk voice】
Don’t light it in your hand, dipsht.*
Don’t light it near your sack, dumbass.
Don’t stand on the roof and yell “FREEDOM” with a lighter and a backpack full of bottle rockets.
You are not Captain F*cking Planet. You're just Chad with a beer gut. 🍺
【🎇 Final Chorus – fists in air, sparklers flying】
🎇 Boom boom bye bye, redneck pride!
You lit your mailbox and your truck inside.
🎆 Boom boom holy balls, that’s the lawn!
Guess you’ll learn how fire insurance works by dawn.
🔥 Boom boom sh*t yeah, it’s a vibe—
Till you lose your teeth, your dog, and your tribe.
🎇 Boom boom bye bye — spark with care,
Or catch these flames like free Medicare. 💥
【🎙️ PSA Outro #2 – your full version, dead serious tone】
Don’t light it in your hand, genius.
Don’t launch it from your butt.
Don’t aim it at the pool. Don’t aim it at the dog.
And for the love of all that is patriotic… step back.
Boom responsibly… or boom regretfully. 💥
God bless America… and your balls.
