[Intro – creepy music box + kids whining softly]
Whispers: “Mom’s friends came…
It’s Kumon time…”
Screams in the distance…
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[Verse 1 – spooky but funny]
Mom say, “You lazy! You no work!”
“Go Kumon now — no time to jerk!”
Friends all gathered, eyes so wide,
They bring the Kumon… and nowhere to hide.
In the room, kids scream and shout,
Tears on the floor, panic bout.
“Why Kumon?” they cry, “Make it stop!”
Mom’s friends laugh — “You’ll learn, or drop!”
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[Chorus – catchy horror chant]
Kumon nightmare, screams in the hall,
Mom’s friends watching, they want us all.
Books like chains, worksheets like doom,
No escape from the Kumon tomb!
子供たち叫ぶ！(Kodomo-tachi sakebu!) —
助けて！(Tasukete!) — Kids scream, “Help me!”
Mom’s friends shouting, “Do your sums!”
“No fun until doctor, yes!” — Mom’s drums!
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[Verse 2 – funny exaggeration]
All the kids, they trembling, sweating,
Mom’s friends watching, no forgetting.
“Finish problem one, two, three, four!”
Or you’ll stay in Kumon prison floor.
Mom say, “No breaks! No TV, no play!”
“You better work — or you’ll pay.”
Pen’s mightier than your remote,
In Kumon hell, you’re just a goat.
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[Bridge – spooky rap with horror FX and Japanese screams]
🖤 The Kumon clock is tick-tick-tockin’,
Brain’s melting, no time for talkin’.
Moms with clipboards, eyes like fire,
Pushin’ kids higher and higher.
やめて！(Yamete!) — “Stop it!”
もう無理！(Mou muri!) — “No more!”
Kids scream, “Help me! I’m trapped in pain!”
Mom’s friends grin — “This is the gain.”
No candy, no break, no mercy shown,
Welcome to the Kumon zone.
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[Chorus – louder, chaotic]
Kumon nightmare, screams in the hall,
Mom’s friends watching, they want us all.
Books like chains, worksheets like doom,
No escape from the Kumon tomb!
子供たち叫ぶ！(Kodomo-tachi sakebu!) —
助けて！(Tasukete!) — Kids scream, “Help me!”
Mom’s friends shouting, “Do your sums!”
“No fun until doctor, yes!” — Mom’s drums!
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[Outro – whispering kids, fading screams]
Mom’s friends gone… for now…
But Kumon lives… inside our souls.
Next time you slack, beware the call —
The Kumon nightmare waits for all.
Whisper: “Maybe later… after Kumon’s done with you.”
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