Intro (spoken, nervous)
Yo, it’s your Pop-Tart here…
And Harry just showed up with that damn cucumber.
I swear that thing’s got plans.
Hold my drink, I’m freakin’ out already.
Chorus
Harry’s got that cucumber, big and green,
I don’t know what the hell that thing means.
Is it salad? Or a weapon of choice?
I’m eyeing that veggie, and it’s got a voice!
Slice it, dice it, or wave it around,
I’m just trying not to fall to the ground.
Verse 1
Harry’s grinning, holding that stick,
I swear it’s got powers — makes me tick.
“Relax,” he says, “It’s just a cucumber, dude.”
Yeah right, like I’m buying that food!
It’s long and it’s firm and it’s standing tall,
If it starts talking, I’m out of this ball.
Pop-Tart’s shook, jam’s running cold,
That veggie’s got stories that ain’t been told.
Pre-Chorus (sung with tension)
Every glance it shoots, I wanna scream,
Is that cucumber planning a scheme?
Chorus 2
Harry’s cucumber’s acting all slick,
Looks like it’s got some moves real quick.
Is it salad? Or a weapon tonight?
Pop-Tart’s running scared, trying to fight.
Hold it, wave it, make it disappear,
If that veggie talks back, I’m outta here!
Bridge (rap/spoken fast)
Look, I’m neurospicy but not dumb,
That cucumber’s creeping like a loaded gun.
I don’t trust that green, it’s got some nerve,
If it pokes me once, I’ll lose my verve.
Harry laughs, “It’s just a snack!”
I’m dodging cucumbers — cut me some slack!
Verse 2
The party’s loud, the music’s bumpin’,
But I’m eyeing that cucumber — my heart’s thumpin’.
It’s staring at me, no joke, I swear,
Like it’s plotting in the fridge somewhere.
Pop-Tart’s nervous, jam’s a mess,
Harry’s cucumber’s causing distress.
Someone yelled, “Where’s the dip?”
I said, “Keep that thing away or I might flip!”
Chorus 3
Pop-Tart versus cucumber, who’ll win?
One’s frosted sweet, the other’s thin.
No recipe here, just battle and sass,
Veggie vs. snack — who’ll kick ass?
Wave it, slice it, hold it with care,
But if that cucumber moves, I’ll swear!
Breakdown (spoken, frantic)
(Pop-Tart)
I’m flaky, I’m quirky, I bring the heat,
But that cucumber’s got me beat.
(Harry, laughing)
It’s just a veggie, chill your face,
But I see you dodging all over the place!
Final Chorus
Pop-Tart and the cucumber, locked in a dance,
One’s freaking out, the other’s got stance.
If you see me running, it’s not a prank,
That cucumber’s power — I’m about to tank.
Raise your glass, toast the absurd,
Best party battle you ever heard!
Mic Drop Outro (spoken deadpan)
If that cucumber tries to talk to me…
I’m officially done. Goodnight, everybody.
