INTRO – NARRATOR, with dramatic flair]
NARRATOR:
Harry flew coach with one goal in hand
A single cucumber and a questionable plan
Customs said, “Sir, what’s that in your pack?”
He smirked, “Just my plus-one, now get off my back.”
[VERSE 1 – HARRY, riding a funky beat]
HARRY:
Landed in Tokyo, vibe unchecked
Cucumber chillin’ like it runs the prefect
Shibuya girls scream, phones out fast
One fainted when it flopped out the bag at last
Slurpin’ ramen, splashin’ miso on thighs
Cuke so bold, made three chefs cry
Walked in the bathhouse, towel too small
“Is that a veggie?” Nah, I brought my whole garden y’all
[PRE-CHORUS – GIRL CHORUS, teasing tone]
GIRLS:
He's got greens, we got needs
That cucumber's planting Tokyo seeds
[CHORUS – ALL, party chant style]
ALL:
Hot sand, cold drinks, cucumber chaos reigns
OnlyFans crashed from the bullet train flames
Tempura thighs clap, boba pearls pop
Harry and his veggie made Mount Fuji drop
[VERSE 2 – HARRY, smooth with absurd swagger]
HARRY:
Karaoke bar, singin’ “Senpai notice me”
But they noticed the cucumber... aggressively
Wasabi dared me, I double dipped
Now the chef won’t stop staring at my grip
Tried to blend in at the Tsukiji stall
But I tripped and flopped it through a fish market wall
“Sir please leave,” yeah I heard ‘em say
But the cucumber’s now mayor of Tokyo Bay
[BRIDGE – GIRL CHORUS, whisper then scream]
GIRLS [whisper]:
Soy sauce lips...
GIRLS [shout]:
WE’RE LOSIN’ GRIPS!
GIRLS [whisper]:
Seaweed wraps...
GIRLS [shout]:
AND VEGGIE SLAPS!
[RAP BREAK – MC TOKYO & HARRY, trade bars]
MC TOKYO:
This ain’t no snack — it’s a scandalous log
Rolled through a love hotel, left it in a fog
I saw that man flex in Harajuku lane
With a cucumber so rude it got banned from the train
HARRY:
They tried to arrest it, called it obscene
But it posed for a pic with a vending machine
I’m just a guy with a produce dream
Cucumber chaos, sushi supreme
[FINAL CHORUS – ALL, full party energy]
ALL:
Sushi flies, people cry, headlines scream
“Foreign man brings shame and greens!”
Tan lines fade, but memes stay raw
He wrecked Japan with a single vegetable law
Hot sand, cold drinks, no peace remains
Cucumber declared a natural hurricane
Miso spilled, fans got banned
Harry still trending in the sushi stand
[OUTRO – HARRY, over soft lo-fi beat]
HARRY:
I came for the sights, stayed for the sin
They said “No cucumbers”... I brought it in
Booked on the no-fly, still living my truth
Cucumber swingin’ like a Shonen spoof
[Sound FX: bullet train woosh, distant girl giggle, one sharp crunch]
