Heaven’s HR Department

[Verse 1]
Got to heaven, there’s a line
Take a number, “E-Devine”
Angel at the desk in specs
Says, “You ever filed your soul-tax yet?”
Clouds are cubicles in rows
Saints on ergonomic thrones
Gabriel’s in business slacks
Color-coding all the trumpet tracks
[Chorus]
This is heaven’s HR department
Fill out form for your atonement
Sign here, here, here in golden ink
If you sinned on weekends, please tick pink
Up here, grace comes with a spreadsheet
Harps clock in to a click beat
Welcome to eternal life assessment
Heaven’s HR department
[Verse 2]
Cherubs doing health and safety
“Cloud too small, that’s Cloud Eighteen B”
Michael leads a trust fall drill
“Catch your neighbor, love fulfilled”
Coffee’s blessed but still decaf
Angels fake their praise then laugh
“Team-building at six,” they cheer
Mandatory joy, year after year (oh yeah)
[Chorus]
This is heaven’s HR department
Wing inspection, robe alignment
If you hugged your enemies, tick “yes”
Else we’ll schedule Conflict-Resolution Fest
Up here, bliss runs on a timesheet
Halos scanned at the front seat
Welcome to eternal life assessment
Heaven’s HR department
[Bridge]
[Band drops to jagged, stop-start hits]
Seven seraphs in a stand-up meeting
Sprint review for all the greetings
“KPIs on saving souls
Slide deck shows we hit our goals” (hey!)
Angel in IT says, “Oops...
We misplaced three prayer groups”
Server room of answered cries
Backed up twice in paradise
[Chorus]
This is heaven’s HR department
Leave your ego in the basement
If you raised your voice, that’s mild offense
We’ll enroll you in “Advanced Patience”
Up here, love comes with a handbook
Take a harp and a long look
Sign for your eternal cloud apartment
Heaven’s HR department
[Outro]
[Tempo twists into a wonky, playful groove]
If you’re late to your own judgment
They just shrug, “Yeah, time’s redundant”
Clock strikes ∞, they all clock in
Endless staff party for the win

rock, Playful math-rock / pop-rock hybrid with bright, clean guitars in odd meters, tight drums, and rubbery bass. Male vocals deadpan the jokes in the verses, then open into a big, shout-along chorus with stacked gang harmonies. Bridge gets rhythmically chaotic and experimental with stuttered hits and dissonant chords, then snaps back into a catchy, anthemic outro. Occasional glitchy vocal chops and chiming synths add surreal, celestial sparkle., pop, comedy, math rock, experimental